Bedwetting 10yr old

[bunnzy]

My fiance has 3 children. The oldest girl is 10 and she spent the night at my place Friday night. Occasionally she wets the bed. She did not tell me that she wet the bed, i know she was probably very embarrassed. I know there is nothing wrong with her wetting the bed, i used to until puberty hit. How can i get her to tell me or her dad when she wets? She doesnt tell him either, they will get up, go to school and work, come home and her room will smell and the sheets wont be changed and the mattress wet. She will hide the pyjamas she wore too.

 

My fiance had problems with bedwetting for a while when he was young, but soon grew out of it. He thinks it is disgusting and she could stop if she really wanted to. I dont agree. I hated wetting the bed, i didnt like waking up reeking, and changing sheets and airing out my mattress. My mum used to say the same thing, you coul get up and go if you wanted to. what is the best way to explain to my fiance that we need to support her and not make her more nervous to tell us about her enuresis? Especially since when he says things like that, its like hearing it from my own mum, i feel so sorry for the girl. But my fiance thinks hes only trying to help, i dont think he realises hes making it worse.

[Yamaha]

I think telling him exactly what you wrote should do the trick.

 

Let him read your post.

[Outcast]

Find some information on the internet for him or get him to speak to a pediatrician about this. His actions aren't helping and could be making it worse.

[lindya]

Find some information on the internet for him or get him to speak to a pediatrician about this. His actions aren't helping and could be making it worse.

 

Bedwetting is often perceived as a symptom of stress. Make it as easy as possible for her to go to the bathroom if/when she does wake up briefly in the middle of the night. You could try having a low energy light switched on in the hallway...and make sure the house doesn't get chilly by setting central heating to come on for brief periods at regular intervals through the night. Obviously make sure she isn't drinking large amounts of liquid late on in the evening.

 

She will probably be mortified if you speak to her about it, but it still needs to be done. I've had to look after a child before who had this problem, and walking on eggshells about it kind of makes things worse. Best just to be kind and matter of fact about it to make it seem like less of a big deal.

 

You could maybe say that her bed was a bit wet the other morning, and you're wondering if she maybe didn't wake up when she needed to go to the bathroom as this is something that happens to a lot of people her age. You could also put a plastic undersheet over the mattress - with the message that it can be taken off if she really doesn't like it, but you'd like her to give it a try for a couple of nights.

[magda]

There are diapers for older children, etc. Perhaps that would help prevent the bed being wet all day. Otherwise, I would try to talk to her gently. Perhaps your prescense in the home is making her stressed. It would be nice if you and her could talk about things.

[mini696]

I was a bed wetter for a long time (at least until I was 10-12). Your fiance's opinion that it is her "choice" to wet the bed is very unhelpful.

 

My reason was I had VERY small bladder... Story; Went to get an untrasound once, and had to drink 8 glasses of water. Had 5 and couldn't drink anymore. Went to the doctors, and was in a LOT of pain and the nurse told me to go pee, cos I was crying. Went to the toilet, then into the ultrasound, and my bladder was still full.

 

You need to tell your fiance not to be so unhelpful, get your daughter a spare set of sheets to shange her bed and a towel to place over the wet patch. Tell her its OK and that if she has an ACCIDENT (cos that is what it is) to strip the bed, or just put the towel over, and you'll clean the sheets in the morning.

 

She will grow out of it.

[penkitten]

my child is nine and wets also.

we tried medicine for his bladder and after four months it helped none. the dr said it was not medical.

i took him to therapy who suggested that he was being molested and it was a big family mess because they talked to him alone and asked him questions that suggested his brother was "touching" him. finally a pychartrist saw him and determined no one ever "touched" him and it was all stress related.

 

i dont care if he comes and says "i wet the bed"

i made a deal that if he puts his wet items in the laundry i would wash them with out asking him anything.

this is great for the embarrassing problem, when he remembers to do it.

when he does not, i have to say "son you continue to wet the bed and not change the sheets. the entire room reeks and you are still in your wet clothes. this is not sanitary, now please place the wet items in the laundry and let your bed dry out while you get in the tub."

 

punishments such as grounding or taking the tv away, spankings, sitting in time out and even handwashing those items have not helped him. i have no idea what he could stay stressed out about forever except that his father and i are divorced and this child has 3 siblings.

[Bogun]

Just tell her that you used to wet your bed too, laugh at yourself, and tell her its no big deal if she pees in the bed, as she'll grow out of it. And tell her that if she does do it, she can tell you and you can change her sheets for her. Just be honest, and make it clear its not a crime, and quite normal.

[Outcast]

punishments such as grounding or taking the tv away, spankings, sitting in time out and even handwashing those items have not helped him

 

I hope to heavens you don't think these punishments will stop the bedwetting

[Art_Critic]

I was a bed wetter until I was 8 or 9 ...

 

My Mom just let me outgrow it.. all she did was use rubber sheets under the real ones and just changed the sheets almost every morning when I woke up.

 

I stopped on my own.. my parents went thru a dvorce when I was 8 .. maybe it was the drama/pain in my life at the time..

[penkitten]

I hope to heavens you don't think these punishments will stop the bedwetting

 

i never spanked him , his father did once at his house. it didnt help.

i did make him wash his clothes out, because i thought it would help, it just made him hide his clothes.

[bunnzy]

I had a good talk with my fiance and the daughter and she hasnt wet the bed since!!! It probably is stress-related, they are living in a caravan park while waiting to move into a new house, but we make sure she doesnt drink anything after dinner and that she goes to the toilet right before bed.

 

Not a problem!!! Thanks guys.

[mopar crazy]

I had a good talk with my fiance and the daughter and she hasnt wet the bed since!!! It probably is stress-related, they are living in a caravan park while waiting to move into a new house, but we make sure she doesnt drink anything after dinner and that she goes to the toilet right before bed.

 

Not a problem!!! Thanks guys.

 

 

Glad it's working out. My kids were bedwetters also. They just grew out of it. When they were dry in the morning we marked it on the calendar so they knew how well they were progressing.

[littlekitty]

I was a bed wetter for a long time (at least until I was 10-12). Your fiance's opinion that it is her "choice" to wet the bed is very unhelpful.

 

I was too! But mine was a different reason! In any case, my Mum approached the Doctor and was giving a special sheet attached to a machine which would fire a noise when I would start peeing... it scared the sh*t outta me initially, but I did stop bed wetting!!