How much do you think l should expect to see of my daughter 17 ?

[chillii]

Hey people.

Ex w and l split 6yrs ago, we have one daughter she's now 17 1/2.

Since we split, l've always lived as close as l can to be there and see as much of my daughter as l can. l've tried to be as much of a dad as l can like this, but l've had to move a few times too.

 

She lives with her mum and now her mums bf, which makes me sick to even say but tis how it's turned out.

2yrs ago l decided to buy a house 20mins over from her and her mums town. l hoped l'd be happy here and that l could also at the same time be close and some security for my daughter.

She liked the house and the town to and we were both really exited about getting the house and she was really exited about her room and fixing it all up and being able to come and go anytime and whatnot and that's all exactly what l hoped too.

 

Before we got this place , she use to stay over all the time , most wkends and some weeknights, or l'd pick her up at school or home and we'd go somewhere even just for a an hour , two.

We always went away somewhere for a few days too , often 2 or 3 times a year.

Or her and her friends would stay over mine, we all did great and ex and l worked great together for our daughter too.

 

But of course my d was younger then and she was around 15 when we got this house.

Right about that time she met a bf over in her town and she started yr 10 , then year 11, so there was all that too and not much free time.

 

We'd still catch up a few times a week. l'd pick her up at school and we'd go get some food or sit down the beach and talk or whatever. Or a wkened we'd meet up for a small hike or sometimes go the movies , or down the beach.

 

But in the two years since l got this house, she's only stayed a few times and lately she just doesn't seem to want to stay. She's happy to come over and we have some nice times just hanging round a few hours, but she never stays anymore.

l dunno if l'm being silly expecting her to stay or expecting too much at her age .

Do you think l am ?

 

Of course she's had a big year at school , and then had the bf too, so she didn't have much time l get all that but even in holdiays when she did have time, she wasn't staying anymore.

She's got two months of now, been off a few weeks, and she split with the bf, so she's sorta got the time now but she still hasn't stayed.

likes coming over hanging about, but never stays.

She always says can't wait to come over and hang out a few days, sometimes we plan it, never happens.

 

We talk or text a bit most days, l mean l think we still get along really well, when we're together or phone we talk non stop and have a lotta laughs.

l try not to push this stayin over thing, but a few times l've had a bit of trouble hiding disappointment l must admit.

 

l dunno , am l expecting too much ?

ls there something l should be doing?

[chillii]

l just feel like she's nearly 18, she'll never stay soon . Her childhood will be over she'll have her own life and won't be interested in staying with her old man anymore.

 

All our time together mostly last year has just been some hours of a day , out somewhere, or over here, no real time together, just living, like we use too.

mY EX gets that everyday and has had it right through, l wish we could have just a little bit more of it before she gets any older and off into her own life.l've missed out on 6yrs "real life" of her childhood a father and daughter.

 

Maybe l expect too much.

Maybe she's fine with it just the way it is.

Edited December 10, 2018 by chillii

[basil67]

It's a bit tough when they grow up and distance themselves, but it's also completely normal. Wait till they are injured and want the bf/gf to take them into xray and you're left out in the waiting room. It's quite a shock becoming so redundant. One of my friends described the feeling of her increasingly independent girls as seeing a piece of her heart walking around without her.

 

But also take heart that you've raised an independent woman. As much as it would be lovely for them to stay with us that little bit longer, rejoice in seeing her spread her wings.

[mrs rubble]

It's fairly normal for them to start to back off at that age. Just cherish the time you do spend with her. Both my son's did that at around the same age, going out doing their own thing, hanging out with friends and locking themselves in their rooms.

My youngest son turned 20 yesterday and he barely sees his dad, he stopped seeing him when he was about 13 or 14 (he was abusive).

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What is your relationship status?

[amaysngrace]

I know the feeling. My daughter is finishing up nursing school in May and she’s talking about getting her own place next summer. She’s only 20.

 

The only thing that’ll make her pop in from time to time is the dogs are staying here, I just know it

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I know the feeling. My daughter is finishing up nursing school in May and she’s talking about getting her own place next summer. She’s only 20.

 

The only thing that’ll make her pop in from time to time is the dogs are staying here, I just know it

 

Awwwww .

[Mr. Lucky]

ls there something l should be doing?

 

Yep - relax. Did your daughter play sports? One of the hardest things in life is sitting in the stands and watching things unfold for your child on the field. With my son that ran track, I swear I could feel my wife's legs twitch in time with his strides as he struggled home.

 

As they grow and transition, life happens the same way. You become an observer as they make their own way so cheer, be supportive and available when she needs you. That's all you can do...

 

Mr. Lucky

[chillii]

What is your relationship status?

 

l'm with someone but they haven't met yet, l wanted to see how things go first.

One reason l would've loved for her to stay this week it would've been our last chance just the two of us for awhile now bc gf is back next week for a few mths.

 

Not only , but we're doing a big 2mtr canvas together 1/2 each , would've been great to do some more on that together, it's a work in progress haha.

 

bUT anyway , they'll have to meet now bc they;ll both be around through Christmas.

[chillii]

Oh God , yep , sounds like l've gotta let the reigns go yeah. Knew it was coming in other ways l feel lucky that she's not really rebellious and we still have the great times together we do have .

Buttttt, that's gonna take some practice .

 

Nope she's not into sports at all but l could just imagine the cringing that must go on for parents.

l was worried she'd end up into motorbikes and horses like l was and her mum was but nope, not into those either.

 

l suppose l should be grateful getting some weekends free after 6yrs, right.