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Need to vent - Boyfriend's Ex


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Old 4th January 2018, 11:56 AM   #1
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Need to vent - Boyfriend's Ex

I need to vent because my resentment and bitterness is building and I've become such an ugly person. I love my boyfriend and his two kids and i have two kids as well.

He and his ex have an unofficial parenting plan. He is training for a new career that requires him to work on weekends from time to time. I work full time and i have a really good arrangement with my ex husband.

My issue is ex-wife. At first she was very easy to handle but now that she's in her own relationship with a man from another area, things have changed. She keeps the kids during the week even though we are down the street to help but on the weekends she wants off and be with her new bf. I understand the peril and challenges of dating. But i want a break on some weekends as well. It angers me that she takes off every weekend to be with this person. Now she's talking about moving to another city and it's starting to stress my bf. Last weekend their son was almost hit by a car under my care and if this would have been a true emergency, my bf is at work in a non cell phone facility and she's miles away. Everyone here works full time including me. I would love just a weekend day off to also have quality time with my bf. He is stuck in the middle and we've been fighting over this i know this is is his problem to solve but in the meantime I'm affected.. This is the only thing we fight about. I love him pieces but I'm overwhelmed sometimes watching 4 kids at the same time. Please lend some advice.
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Old 4th January 2018, 6:51 PM   #2
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Does he have a court order with custody arrangements? Sounds like it's time to make that informal parenting plan a formal one, or in the very least, to revisit it now that circumstances have changed. It's completely unreasonable for her to get every single weekend off. Get a custody plan in writing that all parties agree on during mediation or whatever process they use to specify such arrangements (unfamiliar with this territory).

Maybe you guys can alternate weekends, or you get one weekend day off, she gets the other weekend day off. Your boyfriend needs to stand up to her. Is he afraid to? Maybe you can get a third party like a therapist to help reiterate the importance of boundaries here since you've already tried to talk to him about this? I would have a hard time sitting back and biting my tongue here, as well, since you're directly impacted.

Last edited by healing light; 4th January 2018 at 6:55 PM..
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Old 4th January 2018, 11:48 PM   #3
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Your boyfriend is your problem, not his ex. If he's agreeing to take his kids every weekend then he is the one who should be taking care of them. He needs to eget something formal worked out regarding shared custody and then stick to the arrangements. His ex wife doesn't care that you want a weekend off from time to time and why would she? It's your bf who needs to care about your feelings and who needs to do something about this.
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Old 10th January 2018, 2:51 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alex1030 View Post
She keeps the kids during the week even though we are down the street to help
So your BF doesn't have his kids during the week and he's gone weekends "from time-to-time"?

When does he see his kids?

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Old 10th January 2018, 7:01 AM   #5
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damn girl, wake up!! i played this **** on my cake eater for months. hahaha. he got weekends. and the "love nest" he and his "soulmate" shared was off limits for visitation and overnights.

he wised up and started giving me dates when he and his honey would be, out of town. (as in, don't care, not doing it, make other arraignments)'

at least with my plan, the kids got to see their dad (and i got to stick it to his girl) but, here we are.

let the other familiy know, you will not be home. you will be gone that weekend. even if they see you thru the curtains. you are not home.


as for your "hubby" he's not home either, well much anyway. hellloooo???
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