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How much of your time do you spend with your family?

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Old 20th July 2017, 2:45 PM   #1
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How much of your time do you spend with your family?

I'm in a family of 4 with two young kids. I go to work every day, and have a short commute. My wife and I try to get babysitting at least once every couple of weeks for a few hours. And occasionally I'll go out alone to do something.

Still I'd estimate that out of my non working/non sleeping hours I spend over 95% of my time with at least one of my kids and or my wife.

Just wondering if this is typical.... sometimes I feel like everyone has a lot more time for individual hobbies/life than I do.

My guess is that my situation is going to be close for mothers, but rarer for fathers.
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Old 20th July 2017, 3:35 PM   #2
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I would have thought the same; that my time spent with family was unusually high. I recently reconnected with some old friends who are business owners, philanthropists, executives of substantial organizations, government....the gamut. I did think that I was going to be the boring one who spent the majority of my free time with family.

Not so, across the board, everyone said it's so nice to be social and hang out with friends for a change and 'if they will spend time, who better than old friends.'

The takeaway for me was a little relief actually.

I don't think that your situation is unusual Gunslinger, family comes first for a lot of people, including men.

If I had facebook, I would've known that already.

Last edited by Timshel; 20th July 2017 at 3:39 PM..
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Old 20th July 2017, 3:46 PM   #3
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It's about the same for me. I may be playing chauffer in the evening, but it's with at least one of the kids. I used to be on the Board of a non-profit that would occupy some evenings, but resigned some time ago.

If I need alone time, I'll putter around the property, but at least I'm in the vicinity.
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Old 20th July 2017, 5:53 PM   #4
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Speaking of neighbor, front, hoa president. To my left, the most consistent carer of lawn I have ever seen and yes he did power wash the ditch and is also on the architectural board.
Annnd to my right....just get a big pile of sand, we'll do the rest.
Average 1, I have 1.2 acres between.

I like my neighbors, I really do. I don't have that alone time, out in the yard but they are big part of our social circle.
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Old 20th July 2017, 6:35 PM   #5
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One of the main reason's I gave up on some of my hobbies is that once my daughter came along, it just didn't seem worth it to deny her the time with me...

I also call my mother all the time and visit at least once a week....

TBH, my life is really all about my work and family...I work way too much though(60+ hrs a week), and feel guilty sometimes that I don't spend more time with her..

Even though now she has reached an age(almost 15) where I am no longer "the be all and end all" in her life like I once was, she still likes it when I am around, even if not in her grille all the time...We have a lot of fun together and enjoy our company..I love the hell out of her...

I dunno if its the same for you GR...We had my daughter pretty late in life(me 38) and more people my age have grown kids now and are enjoying their "me" time more than I am or can anyway...It was my choice and I can't change it....I'm all in and won't sacrifice it, even if I never make it to the point where I can really relax and be more about myself..

"If all you do is what you’ve always done, all you will get is what you always got.”

Last edited by thefooloftheyear; 20th July 2017 at 6:38 PM..
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Old 20th July 2017, 7:30 PM   #6
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Well, for me, it's just me and my daughter and I spend pretty much a 100% of my non-working and non-sleeping hours wih her.

I spend my lunch break at work picking her up from school and driving her to dance class or piano lessons. Sometimes we'll meet up with one of my friends or we'll have a playdate so I have some adult interaction while she's playing, but that's pretty much it, we're always together.

I guess the only thing is, ever since last year, she sees her dad every other weekend so I guess now I actually have time for some more fun, adult things. So I can see my boyfriend, spend time with friends, go out, even go on day trips (but I keep that at a minimum because I don't want to be far away from her in case anything happens).
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Old 22nd July 2017, 11:06 AM   #7
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Hey there. I think actually it is quite normal. Do me a favor though; could you grab a sheet of paper and begin to write down every hour (maybe even mins) of how you spend time and divide that up into seeing how you steward your time?

Sometime within our minds we can see one side to it, but God has clearly given every human being 168 hours for us to steward to use for God’s glory and His kingdom. So we all have the same, whether we are rich or poor, whatever socio-economic level, ethnic diversity…. etc I think when you do that, you will begin to see specially and systematically where goes what. After that, as if you’re planning a budget for the home, you’re able to work beyond there and designate things that will show where you can have free time and hobbies.

With more children, yes there will be more time needed that will take away not only the quality of time but quantity of time. But remember, God has first called has to be 1. God’s Child 2. Husband (in our case) 3. Father. 4. Then whatever vocation we are called to be. I think if we mess this order up, then we see things begin to fall apart.

I hope that’s helpful! Praying for you my friend.
"Your worst days are never so bad that you're beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you're beyond the need of God's grace" - Jerry Bridges
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Old 22nd July 2017, 11:18 AM   #8
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Your percentage is pretty typical for most responsible people with kids from what I've seen.

It's a big part of the reason why I'm leaning towards no kids. I enjoy, perhaps even NEED, my alone time too much.
~Perfection is about accepting that we cannot control everything and letting go of some of our preconceived notions.~ -Spiritofnow-
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Old 22nd July 2017, 2:33 PM   #9
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If you are a responsible family man then this will be your life till your kids leave home! My son left home early last year and my wife and I didn't know what to do with our time ! Empty nest syndrome for a while but then quickly started enjoying our and me times.

Enjoy your kids as long as you can. They won't be around for long !
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Old 1st September 2017, 11:31 PM   #10
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When I was married, like you, it was about 95% (or more) of my time. Now that I am not married, I have a lot more time alone, due to shared custody and stuff. In a year, when my youngest leaves home, it will 100% of my time alone.
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