Toddler on 2 different sleep schedules, ?

[jakrbbt]

My 2.5-yr-old has been having sleep issues. In a nutshell, he tries very hard not to sleep when he's at my place. He lives half-time with his dad-- that's recent. (Dad was not exercising parenting time until recently.)

 

I work full-time. Two days per week I "work from home." I was using toddler's sleep time to get some work done. But now, he sleeps little more than I do!

 

He always wants a late-afternoon nap. But if he does that, he's up until at least 11 if not midnight or later.

 

Ex likes to sleep in until noon if possible. He works only a few days per month. He likes our son to nap late, sleep in, and he is an extremely un-communicative (uncommunicative to misleading) person, so I won't be getting him to change the sleep schedule or even tell me what it is. When my son is at his dad's, I can assume he's likely napping late, staying up pretty late, and sleeping in.

 

I tried consistently waking my son around 8 a.m. and either trying to nap him by 1:00, or skipping the nap. Tried that for 3 weeks (with ex having him the second half of the week)-- it never set. He lays in bed crying for mommy to sleep with him. When I do that, he just gets stimulated and tries to play. So even caving in to sleep with him does not work. Putting his bed in my room doesn't work, keeping it in his room doesn't work, same bedtiem every night does not work (probably because it's not the same at his dad's).

 

I could just have him nap late and stay up very late and sleep in late. At least that way, it's consistent. But there are 2 problems: 1. Not good for when he starts school (in a year maybe) and 2. Horrible for my schedule esp. the day I have him before having to go into work early.

 

I could try putting him in day care the 2 days I have him at home. Then at least I can work and keep my job! But it's expensive and I worry that he'd have the back-and-forth schedule again.

 

When he is in school 5 days/week, his dad will have to get on board with waking early enough to feed his child and get him to school and not keep him on the late schedule. But in the meantime, I am dealing with someone who will not do anything besides late schedule. So getting ex on board with a schedule change is not an option.

 

Anyone weigh in? Is it ok to keep child on late schedule? When I do, I start semi-panicking at 11:30pm when toddler is STILL wide awake and it just seems unhealthy. But if that's his regular schedule, maybe I can just go with the late naps and get all his sleep in that way? Or would it be better to keep doggedly getting him up at 8 my half of the week, for several weeks, until it sticks? (That way he loses sleep and I lose all my work/chore/self time, though).

 

Any suggestions or war stories appreciated!

Edited October 6, 2015 by jakrbbt