napy666 Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 One of the guys I am talking too says his EX-Girlfriend's mom and him are friends and the mom is like a real mom to him so there friends and talk etc. So he tells me his EX is bugging him again and I tell him well your the one being friends with the mom so the EX is always going to remain in your life unless you cut it all loose. Why would someone do this? If it was me and my EX I would cut everyone off no matter what because if an EX stays in the picture they will do nothing but bug and harass etc. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 One of the guys I am talking too says his EX-Girlfriend's mom and him are friends and the mom is like a real mom to him so there friends and talk etc. So he tells me his EX is bugging him again and I tell him well your the one being friends with the mom so the EX is always going to remain in your life unless you cut it all loose. Why would someone do this? If it was me and my EX I would cut everyone off no matter what because if an EX stays in the picture they will do nothing but bug and harass etc. I got an invite from my exes mum.......she wants me to come visit her........spend time with her.........i dont knwo if it sappropriate as my ex is with soemoen else....it is a shame....i love her she loves me.....but for that reason.......continuing a relationship has become....well difficult...i dotn want to appear like i am waiting around or integrating myself......with my exes mum......we shared some laughs books and conversations that will stay in my heart...she accepted me....even when i told her my history...she seen past my mistakes and understood me as no other woman has......i miss her....but i feel funny about visiting her...i shouldnt really...i think the new girlfriend would not appreciate it however....and for that reason...i hesitate...out ofrespect..my ex has expressed that it would be good if i came down and seen her.....i just dotn know about that..she was a mum to me....listened to my stories, i listened to her stories,we shared a lot, my pain my joy, her pain her joy......and she loved me through everything i told her....she is getting on in age....and theres sadness...when i think i wont see her again..keeping relationships going with exes family .....is a difficult thing to do.....in any situation.....there usually pain attached there...if you can get through that....or feelings of invasiveness.....it could work....i struggle with this.........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Uh what do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Uh what do you mean? Meaning staying in contact with an exes family, mum, sister, father,brother is a possible cause for concern.....on many levels........it ties you to a past that is no longer viable......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author napy666 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 So is this a bad thing or a good thing? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 So is this a bad thing or a good thing? i dont know if its good or bad in your situation you posted about depends on the people and the break up.....I have stayed friends with my exes...and it isnt easy...but as far as being part of the life of the family of an ex......its actually harder......it is hard to maintain and yet retain a life outside what used to be...i talk to my exes family on their birthdays because my daughters call them to give them well wishes....and thats when i got the invite when i wished her a happy 76th...and i was immediately torn.......but....she talked to me ont he phone about hearts.......she said we have many compartments in our hearts....like drawers......that many people can fit in there....and once someone is in there you shouldnt remove them...but remember fondly and always keep good memories.......discard the bad..........she is right in many respects......its abtou forgiveness and moving on....... but in my mind, maintaining a relationship with an ex and an exes family needs distinct barriers....the more time you spend discussing issues and problems with an exes mum ...the harder it is for you to move on.....you set free the ones you love....to move on with grace and dignity for them ....for you......doesnt mean now and again seeing them cant be an option....but sometimes you need to close a drawer in that heart of yours....for another one to open.........best of luck...;0)..... as i said i struggle closing drawers......in times of trouble if i loved someone.......i will always be there.....to talk to ........to help out....but i need to gain a barrier so i can move on.......i think perspective....brings clarity as far as an ex and their family goes.....the heart will decide what is right for you....for me...for anyone in this situation....i wish you well ...deb Link to post Share on other sites
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