brandonmedlock Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 I haven't seen my 3 y/o son in 9 days. My ex wife took him on vacation with her and her BF last week. Last night I received this text from her. "Maddux is deathly afraid of the bathtub all of the sudden. He literally gets hysterical and starts shaking. He said his granny said the drain will get him. He screams if I stand in there bc he thinks it's going to get me too. She needs to stop giving him complexes. He won't jump in bouncers anymore bc she said it'll break his neck. He won't swim anymore and he loved it last summer bc she said he will drown. He needs to be stress free. He's 3. This is getting ridiculous. He's not making this stuff up bc he uses verbiage he wouldn't know unless someone told him." Granny in this story is my mom. I know my mom would never say these things to him. My mom and I encourage him to swim and get the bounce houses. He just doesnt like them. And he takes showers when he is with me and has for a while now. I'm just at a complete loss of where to take this. I didn't respond to her I just let it set. But after sleeping on it the more I'm concerned about what my ex might be telling our son. Any advice or thoughts or questions are appreciated. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Did you talk to your mom about this? Is there hostility amongst the families? My mom is very caring but the way she talks is often very abrasive and opinionated and it has frustrated me and the kids quite often. It really doesn't sound like something your ex would make up...What would she have to gain from that? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 then again, three is about the right age when kids start making up stories. My nephew, who was four at the time, told my mom that my sister/his mom stabbed him in the leg with a butcher knife when she asked about a scrape he'd gotten from falling. Chances are, your son may be weaving "granny says" tales to keep him from doing things he doesn't want to do. Ask your ex if he says anything when confronted with other things he doesn't like or is afraid of; I think you'll both have your answer there. as for the showers, he probably thinks thinks *that* is how big boys shower and doesn't have the vocabulary to say "baths are for babies" without hurting his mom's feelings or contradicting her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brandonmedlock Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 My ex hates my mom. And I know my mom would never say these things. Also my mom is the primary babysitter when we are working. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 My ex hates my mom. And I know my mom would never say these things. Also my mom is the primary babysitter when we are working. I understand your situation completely. My mom is our primary care also and she does it because she is retired and enjoys spending time with the kids. You would think that is a win-win situation but they (my ex and my mom) often rub each other the wrong way and then my ex starts threatening to make other arrangements ...at my expense of course and the expense that my mom enjoys having them. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 My ex hates my mom. And I know my mom would never say these things. Also my mom is the primary babysitter when we are working. The thing is though your mum could say things in a joking way that scares your son. Maybe teased him about the drain and obviously he is too small to deal with stuff like that. Both of my grandmothers were quite old fashioned (comes with the territory) and my mum's mum did make stuff up that wasn't ideal when my sister and I were little. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Abystarswoman Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 He said his granny said the drain will get him. I wouldn't be so quick to disbelieve what he's saying. This sounds like the kind of stuff that my mom would say to us while we were growing up, too - she'd be doing it to be funny, but it's no joke to a child that young. (My mother is the "Roseanne" type - sometimes she was cruel and thoughtless, but it was always under the guise of "joking". Haha, Mom, not funny.) I'd maybe talk to your mother and find out if this is the kind of thing she would do as a "joke". Kids can't tell the difference between fake and real at that age. It's why they think they can jump off a building and fly like the cartoon characters do. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 My ex hates my mom. And I know my mom would never say these things. Also my mom is the primary babysitter when we are working. I hope you don't take too much offense to this, but this statement throws me many red flags. The way you use 100% terminology like "hates" and "never" makes me believe that we are dealing with a momma's boy scenario here. I think you are over the top with your mom and it pisses your wife off that you still cling to your mom so much. Personally, I bet you that your mom DID say these things when alone with your son and your wife is starting to get seriously pissed off that you are so blind to reality. Link to post Share on other sites
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