Adults Living at Home with Parents

[Janinez]

What is this trend that I'm seeing? Grown men and women moving back in with Mommy and Daddy. A lot of us had to do this for brief periods of time..mostly in our 20's. But I'm seeing a trend where it's happening all the time now in people well into their 30's and even older. And it's not always temporary.

 

These parents are not doing their job as parents. When you think about it, isn't the number one job of a parent to teach their children to become independent adults? To fly out of the nest and make it on their own? I mean really, even birds do a better job with their young than these parents do.

 

If you're a parent and still have a "child" living at home who is over the age of 18, then you haven't done your job. It's that simple. And not only have you failed as a parent but you are ruining your adult child's life.

 

You're making them helpless and dependent. You're stripping them of their feelings of worth. You're not letting them grow up.

 

And if you're an adult still living at home, for whatever the circumstances, make it your number one priority to move out. Your self-esteem will improve and your self-worth will return. You'll become the person you are supposed to be. Not a child in an adult's body.

 

By living with your parents you're not growing. In fact, just the opposite.

 

It's a disturbing trend to say the least.

[Diamonds&Rust]

These parents are not doing their job as parents. When you think about it, isn't the number one job of a parent to teach their children to become independent adults?

Clearly that's what happens when you think about it.

 

One can still be an independent adult and live with their parents.

 

I wouldn't be able to, but god bless someone who can!

[justagirliegirl]

I agree. The young people have been so coddled by parents who have done everything for them and have handed them everything on a silver platter, why would they ever want to move out and actually have to um GASP WORK for a living when the National Bank of Mom and Pop works just fine!

 

Nobody wants to start at the beginning anymore or work their way up. They think the deserve a 30,000 car as their first car and an expensive luxury apartment for their first place.

 

Parents you need to give yourselves a swift kick in the pants for creating these greedy little monsters!

[sb129]

Some people have no choice. The housing market in the UK is notoriously difficult for first time buyers to get into, and often living with their parents rather than paying extortionate rent is the only way some people can save enough money to raise a deposit to buy their own home.

[Diamonds&Rust]

Living with one's parents does not necessarily mean mooching off them.

[Zona76]

When I divorced... although accepted by my adult children, my son asked if he could move in with me.

I told him ... If you need a place to stay, I wont turn you away. A temporary place to toss your hat is fine. But I like my Independence and I enjoy my privacy.

Are parents saying this to their adult children?

Or are they so fearful they wont love them enough to take them back.

I know if I lost my home I could get a spot on my kids sofa. But It would be temporary. I don't like my life crowded.

They KNOW this!

[Diamonds&Rust]

I guess what I'm saying is, my parents would love to have me move back home, simply because they miss me; not that I'm interested, but if I ever did that, I would be happy to pay rent and pay for my expenses and such. I wouldn't see how that would be a negative thing, or in any way hold me back.

[Kwo-ne'-she]

My older sister and her husband moved back in with my mother. It was a mutual arrangement that is best for all involved. My mother has someone to help her with bills, house upkeep, etc. And my sister and her hub have a nicer home than they otherwise could afford.

 

Mooching off parents is one thing. A living arrangement as they have, which is beneficial to all of them, is another.

[norajane]

If you're a parent and still have a "child" living at home who is over the age of 18, then you haven't done your job. It's that simple. And not only have you failed as a parent but you are ruining your adult child's life.

That is such a Western culture perspective. In my culture in Eastern Europe the oldest son and his wife/kids live with his parents until the parents die. It's standard practice...and often necessary because the younger couple takes care of the parents when they get too old to be on their own...nursing homes aren't packed with old people who's kids never visit them out there.

 

There are many good reasons why adults live with parents. Some need to for real estate reasons...this is very common in San Francisco where housing prices are astronomical. Some actually are keeping an eye out for their older parents, or divorced/widowed parents. Some are immigrants where their culture sees it as natural that a child would live in the parents' house.

 

You can't judge everyone by your perspective.

[HokeyReligions]

After age 18 huh? That's a bit much. I lived with my mom until I was 26 and got married. Actually, when I was 23 we sold the house and moved and shared an apartment for 3 years - and one of those years my fiance lived with us. I wasn't mooching, but mom needed me there too or she would have lost everything.

 

I think 18 is to young to automatically force someone out of the house. I left for a while, but realistically our finances were such that it made more sense for the two of us to continue to live in the same house. Sometimes parents like to feel needed too. Not every situation is the same - there are enablers out there too, but to make a blanket statement like sayiing parents are not doing their job if their kids still live at home after they turn 18, or move back in for a while in their 20's or 30's, is not accurate. Living with a parent doesn't mean one isn't independent.