My Messed Up Family

[CinderellaElla]

My family is...well different. Most of the people dont get along at all.

Like my mom and her sister, dont talk. Ad my mom and her dad dont. And my moms sister and her mom dont talk, and then my dad is friends with my moms sister, and well you get the point?

My parents are divorced and i have step parents as well. Also a step brother and step sister.

What iam trying to get too is, is that iam having a hard time with living arrangements with my parents. I want to see both parents but they always make me feel guilty for everything i do, even tho when i tell them that, they say they never did it.

My parents dont get along, and wont communicate, which makes it hard also.

My stepdad tho told me just recently that he and my mom may not stay together...and now iam worried because she's going to be really mad at me cause i want to go back and forth more between her and my dad.

The thing is if my stepdad leaves, then i dont think my mom can keep the house and everything. And it's going to make me feel bad no matter what i do. My parents have a way of that.

But this family is wayyyy far from normal, and i just dont want to turn out like them, when i get older. I want to be able to talk to everyone, and not have them all talking behind my back.

I dont even get to see my cousins because of my mom and her sister hate one another.

This has been going on for sooo long, and iam sick of it and just dont know what to do anymore. Iam stuck in the middle as well as my cousins, and my lil brother.

I feel i get along best with my step parents they seem to understand me alil more, cuz my parents dont. They think they know me but they really dont.

I even proved that to them.

Sometimes they make me soo mad that i want to run away or even throw things..but my parents will smack me or my brother one if we act up. I just dont want to feel bad about going places with the other parent. And both my parents change things around to make them look like the ''good person''. That really bothers me!

ALso, my brother is getting himself into alot of trouble, tho noone knows it...he's starting to steal things from people and stores..and i was wondering how i can help him. Because i got blamed for something he did, and that was taking money from my parents. My parents came to me and kept looking at me and questioning me. I dont understand tho why my brother would sit there (if he really did do it) and let me take the blame.

Any opinions you have well be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[amaysngrace]

Maybe your brother was letting you take the blame because he looks to you to be his protector? I don't know. All I do know is I feel very bad for you guys. It's not right what your parents are doing. They should allow you and your brother to be children. Your step dad too. Why is he letting you know he plans to leave your mom? These are adult issues and should be kept between the adults.

 

You know, maybe your whole family looks to you to be their parent. Are you overly responsible? Even if you are, though, they are out of line. You have a right to live in a peaceful environment, not one that is hostile and chaotic.

 

Is it effecting your studies? Or are you still able to make good grades?

[TattooedPrincess]

Don't feel to bad. a lot of people around here in this day in time unfortunately comes from a messed up family.

 

I can tell you right now parts of my family is pretty messed up and my parents for years were pretty messed up.

 

My mother whole heartedly I do believed loved me.

My dad has a funny way showing any kind of love. I think it comes from him more materialistically.

 

For years I spent listening and watching my dad manipulate things to my mother. He would play her mind a lot.

 

The bad thing is I don't think he realized how much it messed me up while growing up.

 

My dad was like the second child in the family competing for attention from my mother or staring stuff up that it would finely upset me.

 

By the time I was 11 years old my parents bought me a horse and had the horse at a renting stable and I spent a whole lot of time being dropped off and gone off riding my horse. I pretty much think that horse had saved me and kept me out of a lot of trouble for many years.

 

There is so many times I could of seen my self slip between the cracks to a much worse life. I could of ended up on drugs, I could of been one of those girls freely spreading my legs out and using sex as my out let of feeling loved, I could of been drinking myself drunk. I can say I done none of it. I did not let life swallow me up that way.

 

Mentality wise I am more careful who I select who I go out with and I already know the kind of guy I would like to be matched up with. I haven't never found him though. I felt I came quite near.

 

I already know I wouldn't bring this sort of crap if I ever had a child. I would not want my child feel split between two parents and I guess this may be the reason why it has taken so long to find my significant other. I run into to many people right now that if they don't get their way they will start using their children as shields heck some people uses their pets.

 

I feel sad for you that you seem to feel pulled apart I know how that feels and yes it does make you feel a little messed up.

 

You already know you don't want to be this way. So set the path and don't become them.

 

As far as not communicating with cousins because your mother and her sister don't like each other perhaps you could try going around the middle man and get to know your cousins? It may be worth the shot.

 

It isn't to late to find some decent people to communicate with on your family tree.

[CinderellaElla]

Sometimes I feel that this effects my studies, as my mom says I don't study when I do, cause I spent a lot of time in my room, because I don't like to hear them argue. My mom and stepdad fight all the time now.

 

And my dad is very manipulative, he always feels he is right and he would argue with you or even smack ya one if you didnt agree with him.

 

What upsets me the most is the fact i try and talk with them and they dont listen, or seem to care. I just want to be able to get along with everyone both my mom and dad, but it's not that easy....

 

They always are trying to make the other one the ''bad parent'', and I remember ever since my parents got divorced that I would sit on my bed and count the days when I would get to leave the house and not have to put up with all this.

 

Like, I felt that when I was older that most of this would all be okay, but it's not getting better, iit's getting worse.

 

I can't understand why my parents have soo much hate for one another, and they always blame each other.

 

Iam the oldest out of 4, because I have 2 brothers and a sister. I feel that the younger ones get away with a lot more. Like my brother's stealing incidents and the fact that if something happens, the blame is always to me.

 

My dad I feel doesn't trust me at all. He wants to keep an eye on me when I am over at his house. Ever since money was taken from the house. I don't know who did it, but I am thinking it was my brother, because he told me he's taking things from stores.

 

It's sad though that they believe the younger ones. All they have to say is that I did it and it's like I get grounded. They don't let me out of the house, and I did ask them. Even became their slave ... I did all the chores, but that still didn't get me anywheres.

 

And even if I tell them that and try and stand up for myself, it doesnt work.

At my mom's, everything I do is not good enough. I am always trying to prove myself. Most of the time now, I am feeling pretty down. I don't feel like I want to live here at all. I want to live somewhere far from here, but I still got a few years left.

 

I am making an effort to see my cousins, my mom isn't that happy though. My mom doesn't seem to want me to be around my dad. My dad doesn't seem to want me around my mom. Which doesn't make it easy on me trying to get along with everyone. They make it harder for me.

 

It seems that they all tell me stuff tho. Sometimes, it really bothers me tho when they tell me they are having money problems, or they want to split. (Like my stepdad said). I really don't know what to do, 'cause when I tell them nicely I don't really want to know, they say I have to grow up and deal with it.

 

They aren't happy that I might start dating either. The guy will probably leave anyways when he meets my family. My dad says that I don't need one and if my attitude changesk, or if I dont get good marks in school I'll have to call it all off.

 

It's like I have no control over my life at all. When I don't feel in control, Ii freak, cause I am a very VERY independent person.

 

It scares me to be tied down and missing out on things I can do, it's not like I am doing anything bad. I am a good teenager. I have big dreams and high hopes and I am always thinking. I can't stop.

 

I think this is the only thing thats keeping me alive. My friends aren't really much help, 'cause I help them with their problems. There's never anyone to help me with mine, or they plain just don't know.

 

I am always giving them advice, and it's weird cause I am the teenager and most of them are adults.

 

Anyways thanks for the posts! And do you have any more tips or anything for me to get through all this?