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My sister in law having an affair ??

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Old 12th March 2019, 8:29 AM   #1
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My sister in law having an affair ??

I found out a few days ago that my sister in-law of 5 years is cheating on my brother with their neighbor in their apartment complex. I've even seen him come out of their place a few times which makes it even more ****ed up. aMy brother makes all of the money in the marriage while she sits at home and is either watching tv or inviting the boy to their place doing the deed. If you think it couldn't get any worse the guy is in his 19 while she is 31.

I personally think it's a fantasy but who knows? It's all messed up cause she isn't really thinking clearly and only thinking of herself and not how this affects everyone else. Especially my brother because he has self esteem issues and if he finds out it might drive him over the edge. He is seeing a therapist but it doesn't seem to be helping. And for those curious about how I . Apparently he was bragging about it to some neighbors. and since me and my sister in law get along each other she confided in me.

tl;dr: My 31 year old sister in-law is being unfaithful to ny suicidal brother with a 19 year old boy.

Last edited by Moderator; 12th March 2019 at 9:37 AM.. Reason: Paragraphs and move to Family forum
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Old 12th March 2019, 9:45 AM   #2
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Blood is thicker then water. You have to tell your brother what you know / suspect. If he finds out later that you knew & didn't tell him it will ruin your relationship.

Speak up but then be quiet no matter what he chooses, even if he decides to stay with her.
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Old 12th March 2019, 11:55 AM   #3
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I hope you DON'T sit and do nothing. You must inform your brother ASAP!!!
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Old 12th March 2019, 5:09 PM   #4
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Guess it's unanimous, your brother has to be told. Your SIL will be angry with you, it's the cost of doing business...

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Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

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Old 16th March 2019, 1:27 AM   #5
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Yes, tell your brother.
This is all on her, so help him keep the right frame of mind and not turn it inward on himself.
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Old 17th March 2019, 8:22 PM   #6
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OP, if your brother is suicidal, I would be concerned that you telling him could result in a suicide attempt. Seems like his life is more important at the moment than sharing the news without a lot of thought about how it might affect him. How do you think he will respond? When you say he is suicidal, how at risk do you think he currently is?
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Old 29th March 2019, 8:27 PM   #7
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I am worried about my brother and feel sick, is this a normal reaction?

My brother and I are close. It's just us 2. He's a couple of years younger than me. He has been in a relationship for 6 years and recently got engaged. They have a house together and pets and she recently came home and told my brother she doesn't love him anymore and for him it came out of nowhere. He adores her and thought she was the one.

I am devastated for my brother, he is a beautiful person with so much going for him and I am sad for him, I can't STOP thinking about him and crying about it and I feel sick. He doesn't deserve this he is so unselfish and kind and not one to do the wrong thing. He is a good worker and I just don't understand what she is thinking.

I'm mad and sad and all I care about is him and his mental health. She obviously isn't my favourite person atm.

Is it normal for me to feel this way? I just want him to be ok
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Old 1st April 2019, 12:17 PM   #8
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The position your in truly does suck. May I suggest telling her she is going to have to confess her affair to your brother or you will. Give her a time limit so she doesn't drag it out.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
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Old 1st April 2019, 1:11 PM   #9
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Do it right before his therapy session.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
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Old 2nd April 2019, 7:53 AM   #10
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I am not the original poster I just had this happen and it automatically merged me into this thread.
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