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Parents shaming me for losing job - how to deal with this


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Old 10th November 2018, 4:11 PM   #1
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Parents shaming me for losing job - how to deal with this

My parents have always been so naggy, protective and highly critical. I remember my mother telling me to stay away from women because girls these days are 'second hand'.

Now, unfortunately, because this role was not right for me - my parents are absolutely shaming me for losing my job. They keep calling me a loser, and they let me know how much of a failure I am. I just can't stand it anymore.

Any advice?
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Old 10th November 2018, 5:45 PM   #2
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Hi Alec, you were posting mid last year about losing your job. Is this the same job you're referring to, or have you lost another one since then? Are you parents supporting you while you're unemployed?

The best way to deal with it is to find another job and show them that you're quite capable of looking after yourself. If the previous job was a bad fit, do you need to change specialties? Or even get a different qualification? In short, you need to be proactive about your situation.

Once you've gotten back on your feet, you can move away from them and be your own man.
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Old 10th November 2018, 7:10 PM   #3
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be polite, but stay in your bedroom, just be there reading

you do not want to spend time with your parents, presumably you all watch TV together usually, take the high road, do not argue back

at meals, be polite, like if you are in the company of a mayor

"stay away from girls"?? your parents do not want you to become a grown man, sooner or later, you will be one, nothing can stop that, so you get the last laugh
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Old 10th November 2018, 9:56 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by alec007 View Post
my parents are absolutely shaming me for losing my job. They keep calling me a loser, and they let me know how much of a failure I am. ... Any advice?
Hi alec007, you're not a loser or failure for losing your job. Its common for people to lose a job at some point. You just try not to take it personally and move on.

Regarding the problem with your parents though, do you live with them? This will be important to know.
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Old 10th November 2018, 10:28 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by basil67 View Post
Hi Alec, you were posting mid last year about losing your job. Is this the same job you're referring to, or have you lost another one since then? Are you parents supporting you while you're unemployed?

The best way to deal with it is to find another job and show them that you're quite capable of looking after yourself. If the previous job was a bad fit, do you need to change specialties? Or even get a different qualification? In short, you need to be proactive about your situation.

Once you've gotten back on your feet, you can move away from them and be your own man.
Hey Basil, yes it's the same job. I'm currently a freelance writer, so until I find a fulltime job, I won't be able to move out. I really want to break free, because its honestly painstaking right now.
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Old 10th November 2018, 11:46 PM   #6
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Good that you're looking to move out. 18 months without fulltime employment is a long stretch. What kind of work are you looking for? Is there enough work in the sector?
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Old 11th November 2018, 11:47 AM   #7
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You say the role wasn't right for you. What does that mean?

In another thread you said you were in advertising & the company went bust which is why you lost your job.

Which is it? If it wasn't your fault that the company went under, there's no shame is getting fired but if you were intentionally screwing up -- coming in late, not doing assignments etc because you felt unfulfilled, well, that's a different story.

Here's the thing about jobs. Working for a living sucks. Nobody likes their job but you do what you gotta do. If you have been out for a while freelancing but not making enough money to support yourself, it's time to suck it up buttercup & get a job, any job to support yourself. Do keep up the freelancing until you can fully support yourself that way but for now, get an income. Do you really think your garbage collector set out to do that as a life long dream? No. It puts food on the table & a roof over someone's head.

You also said in another thread that your dad is an alcoholic. My parents were too & the drink made them particularly critical.
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