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Dad isn't perfect, but criticizes me a lot?


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Old 19th February 2018, 5:20 AM   #1
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Dad isn't perfect, but criticizes me a lot?

Over the years, after quite a bit of criticism from my dad, I have started to see his flaws more and more. I honestly wish I could have seen the flaws sooner, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad when he would criticize me. Whenever he loses his temper, its like a 5 y/o having a fit, yelling, screaming etc. If I ever get upset or moody, my dad will tell me I'm near 30 and acting like a 5y/o. That absolutely irks me to no end, esp being called immature no matter how hard I try.
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Old 19th February 2018, 8:14 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'veseenbetterlol View Post
Over the years, after quite a bit of criticism from my dad, I have started to see his flaws more and more. I honestly wish I could have seen the flaws sooner, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad when he would criticize me. Whenever he loses his temper, its like a 5 y/o having a fit, yelling, screaming etc. If I ever get upset or moody, my dad will tell me I'm near 30 and acting like a 5y/o. That absolutely irks me to no end, esp being called immature no matter how hard I try.

when ever he criticizes you, answer: "that's right, i learned it from you".

good luck
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Old 19th February 2018, 9:22 AM   #3
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When your imperfect parent criticizes you take a deep breath & say nothing. In your head you remind yourself that your parent loves you & wants the best for you, better than they had but that their own flaws sometimes shine through.
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Old 19th February 2018, 11:17 AM   #4
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Much like relationships, you can't change who your parents are. This is probably a good moment to take a hard look at yourself and start accepting the flaws that you yourself have acquired from them.

Separately, we all make choices and one of those choices is who we allow in our lives and what the context of that relationship will be. Maybe you need some space to evaluate and re-structure that relationship. He may or may not like/accept that but it's not his choice. He chooses to act the way he does, and right now the relationship is on his terms. Put it on your terms. If you can't put it on terms that work for both of you then it won't work. I have a feeling that you can figure it out, parents generally aren't crazy about losing their kids.
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Old 20th February 2018, 1:34 PM   #5
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Sorry you are experiencing this. Some Dad's, because of their upbringing, don't know how to effectively communicate with their children. Curious if you have other siblings he does this to. My Dad was the opposite, he cared and loved me but didn't quite know how to correct my brother and I. This stemmed from his parents and how they parented him. Don't know if you still live with him or not. If so, is moving out, being on your own and option? I'll pray that there is peace in your heart about this; that you continue to love and respect your Dad and that when you become a Dad, you are wiser and more able to control yourself than your Father.
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Old 28th February 2018, 9:20 AM   #6
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I have the same problem but with my mother.
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Old 28th February 2018, 9:44 AM   #7
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Do you live at home with your dad? If not then whenever he starts in on you just leave and go home.

If you still do live at home though it's probably time you moved out. A little box all to yourself would be more pleasant than living under these circumstances.
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