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Brother ignores me when with his wife

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Old 23rd December 2017, 9:04 AM   #1
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Brother ignores me when with his wife

It hurts me so much. I would never be able to do this.

The history of it is that my sister in law doesn't like me.
She has had a dislike for me and my family (mother including) since they got married 17 years ago.

Now it has come to the point that my brother, who is very nice to me usually, pretends he doesn't see me when he is with his wife.

I find this hurtful and disrespectful. I am seriously planning to exclude him from my life for this. I cannot imagine doing something like this...

Has any of you been in this situation before?
- ''To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance'' - Oscar Wilde
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Old 23rd December 2017, 9:09 AM   #2
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When you marry you are supposed to separate from your family of origin & cleave to your spouse. His actions seem a bit extreme, because he's not even saying hi. That has to hurt.

You want to fix this? Go to the source. Reach out to your SIL. Invite her to lunch to talk & bury the hatchet. Sincerely tell her that you don't understand the rift but you'd like to repair it. Listen -- really listen -- while she airs grievances against your family. Then make a point to be more loving & inclusive to her. Pave the way for reconciliation with your mom. If you can't or won't do that, accept that you have lost your brother.
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Old 23rd December 2017, 9:16 AM   #3
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I would be so hurt if my brother refused to acknowledge me but I agree with the above poster that the solution may be to mend bridges with the sister-in-law. Your brother has to live with her so he's not going to do anything that greatly upsets her and gets him in the doghouse.
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Old 23rd December 2017, 9:25 AM   #4
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I think in any situation I would agree with you, but my SIL has made our lives miserable in the past 17 years. Last year we finally decided to not put up with her behaviour any longer....

She then went as far as kicking my brother out of the house because she didn't get the money she was used to from my parents anymore.
My brother spent 4 months at my mom's house.
They reconciled, but as a family we decided not to put up with her any longer, even if my brother decides to go back.

I think I will indeed have to accept I lost my brother and move on with life as I do never ever want to put up with her behaviour again.
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