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Family makes me the 5th wheel

Family Parents too demanding? Sibling driving you mad? Tell us!

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Old 21st August 2017, 8:30 PM   #1
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Family makes me the 5th wheel

Hey all, I'm new here. I specifically sought out a forum to help me with this issue. I am the only unmarried sibling in my family. Both sisters are married with kids. We only have 1 surviving parent.

We have a weekend getaway coming up. 1 family is staying in a cabin, lent the other family their camper, and I'm stuck tenting it. There is more than enough room in the camper for me. However, on our last trip, I angered one sister by snoring and being restless at night. She was angry and rude to the point that I left a day early. So I know she will not ask me to come stay in the camper with them. Tonight I got a call from sister #2 that basically told me to consider getting a hotel nearby with my parent, who want going to attend.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to be away from the main area, and I don't want to have to drive back to the hotel, instead of being able to enjoy a few cocktails.

I should be used to this by now. But it drove me to the point of tears tonight. I'm tired of this kind of thing happening.

Yesterday my sisters got together to make plans for the weekend. I never got a heads up call or text. I could have been there in 10 minutes. I felt incredibly left out. I called them on this and got a lame excuse that they didn't know i was in town. I had told them i was working until 4pm just a few hours before that. If our parent needs to go home, an 8 hour drive, I'm the one who goes with when he doesn't want to go alone. They have families is their excuse a d it's too far. Even though they can take extended car vacations with their families when it suits them.

I know I am one person, but I'm tired of attending sleepovers, get togethers and camping weekends and being pushed to the end. I have held off drinking many a night because I knew there "wasn't enough room for me". I have been on couches to sleep while the party rages on. Or woke up at dawn because others refuse to respect that I'm sleeping on the couch. Whatever I want or suggest is overriden.

I just don't know what to do about this. I love my family to death. We are very close. But I can't get over this. And I'm not sure how to handle it. Am I being petty? As the only single person do I need to suck it up and go with the flow?
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Old 21st August 2017, 8:36 PM   #2
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Can you hire yourself a camper for the weekend? Then you'll have your own space.
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Old 21st August 2017, 9:43 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by mrs rubble View Post
Can you hire yourself a camper for the weekend? Then you'll have your own space.
Yes, that was an option I looked into. It was cost prohibitive and they had a minimum amount of time you rented it for. I only need it for 48 hours. I also looked into renting lodging at the campground. There is nothing available.

My post isn't so much looking for a solution for our weekend as it is in dealing with the issues listed above. But I do appreciate your feedback. I will be looking into it for our next trip.
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Old 21st August 2017, 10:12 PM   #4
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How about having an open and honest conversation about it? You can't make your sisters change to be how you want them to be, you can only express your needs and respond in a way that demonstrates your boundaries.

good luck
This above all: To thine own self be true
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Old 22nd August 2017, 11:03 AM   #5
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I am sorry you have to undergo this, but thanks for sharing. You are not alone and I understand. Families are odd sometimes and we can't control their behaviors and how they treat us. What we can control is how we react to them. I would stay in the tent. More room for you and you can do what you want in it. Just go and have a good time.
Would they be open to having a heart to heart and discussing the options? You can't help that you snore. If you snore alone in the tent, so what, the bugs will hear you!
Go, snore and never let them see you upset. I know that sounds hard but I believe if you go and have a good time they will see that you can't be knocked down by negative behavior. You certainly aren't being petty when you feel left out, and it can hurt when being made to feel like the 5th wheel. But they will only make you feel that way if you let them. See if you all can resolve the issue. Confront the situation in a positive manner and work it out with them. Families can be weird, I know, my own has its issues from time to time and we get through with open communication. I'll be praying for you and your sisters to work through this.
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Old 29th August 2017, 5:57 AM   #6
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either pair up with the only parent you all have or go it alone.

you started this because you were up late snooping and i have to say, of course they don't want you in the camper, they want their privacy.

and of course they don't take your opinion in to consideration when making plans, there are 8 of them! husbands, wives and children.

stay in the tent.

or don't go. you say that you are close to your family but until you have a family of your own, that's not the case.

the same thing happened to me. down to trying to sleep on the sofa while they trooped out to the kitchen and flicked on the lights and television cuz their brats were hungry.

they don't care.

read that again.

my solution was to bring my friends or my boyfriend and share our own room/tent.

if they say daddy wants to go home, say, "no way, i'm not leaving my friends. have him lie down in the camper till i'm ready".

good luck
take aim. reload.
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Old 4th September 2017, 10:16 AM   #7
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I think having an open and honest conversation about it is a very good idea
Do your best to reach your goals )))
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