candie13 Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 she is 30, her bf is 26. they have been dating for 4-5 years and he stays at her place. I met him and he genuinely is a nice man, one of the few I've met - of his age or older. It's just that ... I dunno, looking at them, I sort of feel they are heading straight into a wall. My sister is not a fighter or a very ambitious person. She is incredibly smart and talented - she is a dentist, but she lacks drive. Her bf is just... young, you know? He is studying to become an architect (6 years in school). He is in his second year, but he already repeated the first year and the second. I am not judging him based on his education or results, especially since he is an orphan, so he has to work to make it through the day. He is a DJ in his free time. The issue is, I think they were very much inlove at some point, but... yeah, not so much anymore, and my lil sister is clinging... it's fair to say he crashes at her place - basically they live together. He recently told her he wanted out of their relationship. There are no huge issues to overcome between them, except for the fact that in Eastern Europe, where my lil sis lives, there is a huge social pressure to get married. I think my sister is deluding herself in thinking her guy will ever propose. Basically, this is my question: how do I help her out, how do I support her? I of course, talk to her and listen, but I would love to give her some sound support, without being judgmental. The other issue is we don't live in the same country, so I can only talk to her via IM or phone, it's not like I am there to take her out and introduce her to a bunch of new people. She has very very few single friends, almost no gfs, as most people are already married. She is not interested or willing to go out to meet new people and change her circle of friends - I've already told you she is a bit scared... I dunno, we've been raised in a less aggressive, less go-getting way. I had to adapt, as I've left my country 10 years ago... I also know so well what's waiting ahead, as I've also ended a 7 years relationship in my thirties. But I was the one to decide to end it, and it still was hell. I needed two - three years to get over it fully, and Switzerland is more interesting from a dating perspective compared to my country. I am also afraid I might influence her, because to me... it's so obvious that they are simply not in the same place. Her bf is not a dog or a womanizer, he simply is a guy who's been with the same woman since he was 21... and I am not convinced he wants my sister, I am not convinced he doesn't want to be single for just a little longer. How can I support her, any ideas? I am afraid if I speak my mind, I will hurt her even more, because they are not even broken up yet. It's just... like watching a car crush live, it breaks my heart to see her going through this. Cheers, guys Link to post Share on other sites
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