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step moms even more crazy!

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Old 24th August 2003, 12:43 PM   #1
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Angry step moms even more crazy!

ok well my parents r divorced and both got married to different people. my mom got married to a nice guy form england(there both english). and my dad got married to satin. shes spanish too just liek your step mom!!!! she explodes at me and my sisters allt he tiem opver little things, seirously we think she has somtihng worng with her. my dad said she has a weird childhood or somthing..idk doenst talk about it much. my dad cant even take her somtimes. but i think hes afraid of being alone again.
shes a clean freak. for example, (everday situation) ill leave a cabinet door open inthe kitchen and she would cally m name in an mean tone to egt back int here immediatly to close it even if i was outside. or if i asked her a question from the stairs she woudltn answer until id be int he same room and then id get in trouble. or liek today i forgot my retainer at my moms house (cause i switch week on week off) and she embrasses me infront of my couzins and family calling up my dad saying how irresponible i am and how i should be punished and how i dotn deserve anything. even though there little things....they turn into large ones cuz my sister stands up for me sometimes and it just makes things worse. we would hav a "family meeting" where alls eh does is bad mouth me. and wont tlak to my dad for a few days and then my dad blames there marriage troubles on me! and the worst part about "family meetings" if i say somehting i get yelled at. so the only way to express my feelings is to cry. then she calls me emotionly unstable. THIS USUALLY REPEATS MONTHLY OR WEEKLY!
i dont kno how mucch longer i can take this. this is causing alot of future therapy!!!!!!!!! should i just move in wiht my mom? my mom says shes jealous of the attention me and my sisters get from my dad, which isnt much...everytime im wathcign a movie wiht my dad or hes in my room she always calls him to do somthing...
did i mention the only time we hav conversation is when i get in trouble?? im serious. theres 3 floors to my house and she stays on the 3rd floor onyl to come down to repremand me and my sisters or to eat. and no one *especially me* is allowed up there. is that normal???? idk...
wut should i do? im so confused im only thirteen and i wanna c my dad still cuz i love him to death. but not his wife. theres just so much animosity in this house i cant take it. were not allowed friends over cuz my step mom says theyll make to much mess...and whenever i ask to go out somewhere i cant because of my 'behavior' and fi my dad doesnt agree with her she will argue wiht him for hours threaten to leave him...and my dad doesnt want that so he just agrees. and usually comes and says sorry to me. its been goign on for almost 3 years! ive only have had 1 friend over since 3rd grade when my parents just got divorced. thats why i treasure the moments at my moms house because she understands and lets me have some fun like normal parents r supposed to.
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Old 24th August 2003, 1:14 PM   #2
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Location: Chicago area
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I'm willing to bet the whole thing is cultural. My ex-husband was Cuban and had I ever offered his mother money for anything she'd still be crying (we split 10 years ago). I once brought a pie to Thanksgiving dinner and you'd have thought it was a bomb from her reaction and that of the other women in the family.

Lay low for awhile and although you're not going to be able to "fix" this (I'm sure she was tremendously insulted) it will at some point become a small-enough thing that family relations will pretty much return to whatever passes for normal ;-)
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Old 13th October 2003, 6:01 PM   #3
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Location: northeastern ohio
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step mom

I understand what your going through but did you ever stop to see what adjustments your step mom is going through too? I'm sure there are times when she is wrong but is it possible that you could try a little more on your end. She is probably looking for respect from you and in the same way she wants to get along too. She probably stays upstairs to think and have some time to herself. Everyone needs time to themselves. I do think from your email it sounds like she is going overboard a bit but it really isn't asking much to have you pick up after yourself. Try and picture yourself in her position, she is trying to adjust to you and you seem to be refusing to adjust to her. All I am saying is give her a chance. You might be surprised on how things may start to get a lot better once you both give each other respect. Try and sit down with her and tell her you would like to get along but sometimes you think she doesn't understand. She may not. Good luck !!
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