Fiance family=phony losers

[morah]

My fiance and I love each other very much. Before he met me he was pretty much under his families rule. I encouraged him to stand up for himself and be his own person. Now his family hates me and blames me for what they consider his rebelling. He is a grown man and has a right to do as he pleases, right? The fact that I am a different race than he is, is another issue. They don't come right out and say the race thing bothers them, but its obvious to me and my fiance that it is. We are about to move in together, in less than a month. We plan to get married as soon as its fianancially possible for us.

[yes]

best of luck with your relationship. just sharing, or you had a question you forgot to ask?

 

-yes

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: " I encouraged him to stand up for himself and be his own person. Now his family hates me and blames me for what they consider his rebelling."

 

So who opened their big mouth??? How does his family know YOU are the on who encourage him to stand up for himself??? If he's telling his family a lot of personal things about your communication with him, that's a danger signal and you need to teach him how to keep confidences.

 

You wouldn't have this problem if people just kept data to themselves and used it appropriately. I have never been able to find out why people have such big mouths.

[turtle]

He is a grown man and should be free from his family's rules.

 

If his family is unwilling to get to know you and accept you for who you are, then they are not worth dealing with. Hopefully, once you two live together for awhile, they will begin to like you more.

[sumdude]

Originally posted by Tony

YOU WRITE: " I encouraged him to stand up for himself and be his own person. Now his family hates me and blames me for what they consider his rebelling."

 

So who opened their big mouth??? How does his family know YOU are the on who encourage him to stand up for himself??? If he's telling his family a lot of personal things about your communication with him, that's a danger signal and you need to teach him how to keep confidences.

 

You wouldn't have this problem if people just kept data to themselves and used it appropriately. I have never been able to find out why people have such big mouths.

 

Well it seems that they could figure this out by simple deduction. Boy meets girl. Soon thereafter boy starts becoming more independant. Happens all the time. Never mind the fact that some family members always fear change in a relationship with thier children. When someone comes along and becomes closer to a child than they are. There must be someone to 'blame'. Morah, you never mentioned your ages. Parents and siblings often have a really hard time letting go and allowing their kids to grow and become independant adults.