simplythebest Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 Help!!!! I have got to have the worst mother-in-law in history. I recently moved in w my bf. his mother, who is very close to him, stays with us about 3 or 4 days out of the week. Before I moved in, she helped him out with the bills, cleaned the house and did his laundry. I get along with my bf just fine. The problem is his mother. I am a very reasonable person and easy to get along with. However, one thing that bothers me is when people try to take advantage or run over me. His mother seems to be doing just that. This is what she has done so far... She goes into our room to get his dirty laundry out of the hamper, even when my clothes, including underwear are in there. To me, that is disgusting!!! She has no business washing his clothes. The other day I was running late for work so I skipped my morning shower (yes, I admit it ), but I had showered the day before. When she saw me she said, "you are going to work already? You didn't even shower). I was so angry, bc I am sure she was listening, we have no privacy. One day while we were having dinner, she comes down stairs and asks "is that all you are going to eat"? I hate it because I feel like she is going to criticize everything I do. I really do love her son, but I just don't know what to do... Please help Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplythebest Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 Cricket, cricket Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 To begin a relationship with a MIL that lives with her son and still takes care of him is insane. Why on earth is she there 4 days a week??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplythebest Posted March 10, 2010 Author Share Posted March 10, 2010 He is her youngest son and the only one who was still single. Like I said, she used to help out with the bills. I don't know, but I feel like she is trying to compete with me, which is ridiculous. She needs to accept the fact that her son is a grown man and has made his life. I also forgot to mention that I'm pregnant. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 OK. Holy Crap. You and He need to pay the bills without her help. He needs to tell her that it would be great if she could come over every Sunday for dinner (or invite the two of you) but that from now on she need not sleep over and that the two of you will take care of yourselves. Period. If he cannot have this conversation with her...you got a problem. If the two of you require HER financial help to support yourselves and the new baby...then you better learn to live with her. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 She needs to accept the fact that her son is a grown man and has made his life. Well, when is he going to act like one? She helped pay his bills, cleaned for him, and comes and washes his dirty underwear. He needs to cut the apron strings BEFORE he gets with a girl. You know he's going to expect YOU to be his mommy now, right? Link to post Share on other sites
fennel6 Posted March 10, 2010 Share Posted March 10, 2010 OK. Holy Crap. You and He need to pay the bills without her help. He needs to tell her that it would be great if she could come over every Sunday for dinner (or invite the two of you) but that from now on she need not sleep over and that the two of you will take care of yourselves. Period. If he cannot have this conversation with her...you got a problem. If the two of you require HER financial help to support yourselves and the new baby...then you better learn to live with her. I agree 100%. Hopefully, he can be man enough to confront his mom and restrict her visits. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyLeigh Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 You have a boyfriend problem, not a boyfriend's mom problem. You are living with a guy whose MOMMY does his laundry and has helped to pay his bills. He is not a man. He is a big child. Tell him flat-up that he either grows up and stops this nonsense, or you find an actual grown up MAN. Oh, and please reconsider having any more children with someone who is still so attached to his mother's apron. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I agree! Momma's boy = run like hell!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BlackLovely Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Help!!!! I have got to have the worst mother-in-law in history. I recently moved in w my bf. his mother, who is very close to him, stays with us about 3 or 4 days out of the week. Before I moved in, she helped him out with the bills, cleaned the house and did his laundry. I get along with my bf just fine. The problem is his mother. I am a very reasonable person and easy to get along with. However, one thing that bothers me is when people try to take advantage or run over me. His mother seems to be doing just that. This is what she has done so far... She goes into our room to get his dirty laundry out of the hamper, even when my clothes, including underwear are in there. To me, that is disgusting!!! She has no business washing his clothes. The other day I was running late for work so I skipped my morning shower (yes, I admit it ), but I had showered the day before. When she saw me she said, "you are going to work already? You didn't even shower). I was so angry, bc I am sure she was listening, we have no privacy. One day while we were having dinner, she comes down stairs and asks "is that all you are going to eat"? I hate it because I feel like she is going to criticize everything I do. I really do love her son, but I just don't know what to do... Please help It sounds like you have a boyfriend who is the proverbial "mama's boy". He may be an adult chronologically, but mentally, he is still a little child that needs his Mommy to baby him. Are you sure that you want to sign on for that? He will expect you to be his "Mommy" too and you need a strong man to be a father to your child. I wouldn't refer to her as your mother-in-law because it's misleading. You and your boyfriend are not married. He needs to set limits with her, not you. Blood talks to blood and if she is this clueless, you confronting her will only make things worse. You may also want to discuss his readiness to be a parent and to be in an adult, independent relationship. Have a nice long chat about expectations. I hope this helps lovey. I had to set firm limits with my mother because she wanted to control my wedding and my impending marriage. She tried to offer us money, but we wouldn't take it, because it was only an attempt for her to gain some power over us. We no longer visit her home because she is too volatile and unpleasant to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts