What's in a name?

[Zeta4PhiSius]

First a back story.

 

My parents divorced when I was around 2-3 years old. I am now 29.

 

My biological father - convicted felon (multiple felonies), former druggie who is supposedly now clean, and other junk that I won't go into here along the same lines. Basically, a long criminal record.

 

My mom - Hardworking, no arrest record, no criminal record, nothing of the sort.

 

My dad's side of the family: four brothers - all jailbirds - all have been arrested at least once and some of them several times. Only one has made something of his life with a good, steady job and a family.

 

Mom's side of the family - high achievers - own several houses - proud people that have never set or stepped a single toe in a jail. None have any criminal record whatsoever.

 

Basically - what I want to do is change my name. My name is taken from my father's side, with my middle name his name. Quite frankly, I really don't want to be associated with that side of the family. I myself am a high achiever and always have been. I've never been arrested, I've never done drugs, and the most I've ever done in that area is have a few drinks at a party once I became eligible (21). I take after my mom's side moreso than my biological father's side.

 

So, I want to change my last name to that of my mom's side of the family. I guess my questions are:

 

1. Is this a beneficial thing to do? What/who do I need to think about other than my biological father (who I'm sure will go nuts over this move)?

2. How will this affect future job possibilities/promotions?

3. How will my name appeal to the ladies as a potential dating partner?

4. Do people really pay attention to a name and discriminate based on it or what others with the same last name have achieved? Or am I just overanalyzing and being an idiot?

5. I realize I have to change everything to reflect my new name - my bank accounts, credit cards (I have no credit cards, BTW, and other things related to it). As a matter of fact - I'm going to be debt free a month from now.

6. It's a big step, and I'd like to hear from others that have had a similar situation and changed their name - what was your feedback from other people once you did it? How did other people react? How much of a positive effect did it have on your life once you changed it?

 

Of course, a big thank you to anyone that has had the tenacity to read this far.

 

I should note as well - I'm making this decision entirely of my own accord. It's not being influenced by my mom (I was the one that came to this decision and suggested it) or anything of that nature.

[TaraMaiden]

I guess my questions are:

 

1. Is this a beneficial thing to do?

I definitely see the advantages.

 

What/who do I need to think about other than my biological father (who I'm sure will go nuts over this move)?

Nobody.

Not even him.

If you're an adult, you can do what you want. If he has a problem with it, that's his to bear, but given his circumstances, he coul;dn't really blame you....

2. How will this affect future job possibilities/promotions?

Why should it affect them?

Why tell anyone unnecessarily?

If you apply for a job as John Brown, instead of John Smith, who's to know?

 

3. How will my name appeal to the ladies as a potential dating partner?

Well, I don't see the point of this question, unless you're changing it to something like Woodcock or PinkRabbit....

4. Do people really pay attention to a name and discriminate based on it or what others with the same last name have achieved? Or am I just overanalyzing and being an idiot?

If people don't know your origins, it won't matter.

The people who will mind, won't matter, and the people who matter, won't mind.

 

5. I realize I have to change everything to reflect my new name - my bank accounts, credit cards (I have no credit cards, BTW, and other things related to it). As a matter of fact - I'm going to be debt free a month from now.

Women have to do this when they get married. it's no big deal.

 

6. It's a big step, and I'd like to hear from others that have had a similar situation and changed their name - what was your feedback from other people once you did it? How did other people react? How much of a positive effect did it have on your life once you changed it?

I reverted to my single name after I divorced my husband. Best thing I ever did. it gives you a sense of freedom to shed something that was an unnecessary appendage.

Due to moving to another country after my divorce, it made things a bit complicated initially, when applying for official documents, but it was all fixable and above board, and therefore only a temporary glitch.

 

Of course, a big thank you to anyone that has had the tenacity to read this far.

(How did you know my name was Mrs Tenacious!? )

 

I should note as well - I'm making this decision entirely of my own accord. It's not being influenced by my mom (I was the one that came to this decision and suggested it) or anything of that nature.

All the more reason for doing it.

'Famous people' adopt pseudonyms all the time. Elton John, Cliff Richard, John Wayne.....Not their real names. If they can do it, so can you......Adopting your mother's maiden name shouldn't be a problem.

[Ronni_W]

I think more than anything, our names affect how we feel and think about, and what we believe about our Self. To me, other people react to us based on how we view and present ourselves...even if it is all unconscious or too subtle to even notice.

 

If your name is no longer working to promote and encourage you to 'be, do and have' according to your own highest vision for your Self, then that might very well indicate time to seriously consider a name change...whether it's legal or you just decide to use a different name in your every-day life. (Which is what I've done...partially because I didn't want the huge hassle of doing it legally. My legal name isn't really distasteful to me, I just felt drawn to changing it.)

 

I'm not a strong believer in numerology, but I covered all my bases and looked into all of it from that perspective as well. I found the articles at decoz.com quite helpful, and I did the 'do your own reading' (under the 'free stuff' tab.)

 

Best of luck.

[Tayla]

I think that as an adult its your choice. You seem to understand the paperwork involved and how it will affect your current *social* stigma associated with a questionable criminal name. Lets face it , just the Name Kennedy brings to some a sense of respect or notariety.

 

I do caution you that your new name is flagged as the govt's are more apt to question a person who changes there names for what may appear to be legitimate reasons when in fact some are running from past crimes or lifestyles.

Even folks in the witness protection program are monitored with there new names.

An employer has the right to ask if you had a name change. Especially if you are a civil servant or want to do any govt work/contracting. OTher agencies also have the right to ask your current verses former name. This is based on my current country (USA), Other countries may run differently on laws and right to know information.

[fooled once]

You are an adult so it is your decision.

 

Good luck!

[Peaceful Guy]

i agree with fooled once. its your call, and i dont think its hurting anybody if you want a new/different name.. but also, i dont think you should feel like the name you have now is bad because you disagree with the choices other people that share it have made.. it sounds like you need to forgive your father and his side of the family,, and then change away to your hearts content!