I could use some help

[Tolkien]

I am 17 and I live with my mom. We don't have a very good relationship and to be honest, the only reason I am living with her is because the technology school I go to is the only one like it in the whole state. So if I move to live with my dad I can't go to this school anymore.

 

My parents have been divorced for 4 years now. That I never had a real problem with, both my brother and I saw that one coming. He is four and a half years older then me, and lives in Switzerland. He used to break up most of our fights. My mom is the only person in my family I don't get a long with.

 

Just a little background history, I've moved three times in three years and I really don't want to do it again, now that I have a good group of friends and am a Junior in high school.

 

Well, my mom gave me an ultimatum of having to change, or getting kicked out of the house. I have one week until I am sent to my dad’s house. I hate living here, but I can't move because of this school I go to.

 

What really upsets me is that we tried a therapist together once, and he saw a problem, and told my mom, not me, what could be done to help it. Well, she changed, and we got along for a good week. Then she went back to her normal routine and we started fighting again.

 

Then we got a call from this therapist that he would not be able to take us anymore, but would recommend someone else. Well we ended up stopping all together. That was about 3 months ago by the way.

 

We have been fighting all the while up till now, and she has given me this ultimatum of me having to change, and that she did not need to because I was the one trying to live in her house, not visa versa.

 

She really pissed me off tonight and I ended up taking off and I drove about 2 miles just to calm down and came back. She talked about how she was the authority and she was a "boss" I would have to get used to it.

 

I don't really know what's happening but I could really use some advice so any would be greatly appreciated.

[Tony T]

You don't need any advice here. If you want to live in your mother's home, you will have to obey her rules.

 

To make it easier on you, YOU are in total and complete charge of your emotions. There is nothing your mother can say or do to piss you off...that is a decision you make completely on your own. Therefore my recommendation to you would be to start agreeing with your mother in a nice way, doing things her way, and keeping the peace as long as those things are within reason.

 

Doing these things is good training for being out in the real world where a great percentage of people are just plain insane...kind of like your mama.

[ThisGirlNameKD]

You say that you don't get along with your mother, but you didn't say why. What is it your mother does that you don't agree with other than what she's suppose to do which is tell you what to do? If there's any other problem other than that, what could it be?

 

Also you said your mother told you she would put you out of the house. Now, that's pretty drastic for a parent to say. Usually when a parent threatens to put someone out the house, that someone is doing some pretty messed up things. If that is not your situation, what is it that you have to change in order for your mother to give you an ultimatum? You haven't really given us much details to help you with.

 

Based on all that you've given us, I agree with Tony. Obey your mother, and when you're old enough, strike out on your own. But until then as long as you're living in her house, you have to obey her rules whether you like it or not.