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Anyone ever have this happen...


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Well, first of all, I'm 19, turning 20 this summer.

 

I've been going to a satellite campus that my college provides around this area. The classes that I need to complete my major are at the main campus, about a 2 hour drive away. In the end of August I will be moving away, to a dorm/apartment of my college.

 

Now, I'm the last of five children. All of my sisters (3) and my brother are married already. When they moved out, things started getting weird here, I felt totally uncomfortable. I do get along with my parents great, but it's just weird here. I just can't wait till I can move out. It's kinda like they need their privacy and I'm in the way. I just feel awkward.

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In almost every species on the planet, there is a ritual for weaning offspring from the parents and getting them out into the real world. I suppose somewhere down the evolutionary line, homosapiens probably had a far more cruel ritual for doing that than they have today. It's become slightly more civilized.

 

Fact is, it's quiet normal for parents to be eager to get the kids away so they can once again become individuals and enjoy the things they sacrificed doing while raising children. It sounds like your parents spent a good quarter of a century raising children...that's a pretty big slice of one's life.

 

First, they are eager to be sure that their offspring can make it in life alone, without them. Parents have that as a big concern and they prepare their young ones for dealing with the big, mean world. They want the satisfaction of seeing that they did their job well.

 

Second, as I said earlier, they want to restore their lives to a new mode...one not dedicated to propagation of the species but to living their lives as full as possible before they are no longer able.

 

Give them as much space as you can, understand what's going on, forgive them, be kind and patient with them, and get the hell out of the house as soon as you can. One day you'll probably want that same favor from your last kid.

 

It's going to be weird until you have moved out. Then your relationship with your parents will probably be the best it's ever been.

 

Don't worry about it so much. Nothing you can do. Human nature, you know.

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You could get a job and a place your own or find some else to live with. Better yet ask them to pay for your rent and you'll gladly move out. I wouldn't worry about it, they love you.

 

Those a pretty much your options. You could try smoothing them over the best you can until your day comes they you move into your own. You could keep fresh flowers on the kitchen table for your mom and do your share of house keeping. Do odds and ends things for them go out of your way sort things to please them. When ever your driving home call them ask If they need anything while your out. Cook, clean, shampoo the carpet, cut the grass, wash their cars. And the list goes on and on. Then when you do leave they'll be begging you to come back.

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