Noemiforever43 Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 I just don't understand, my husband choose separation, also choose to see other people even thou, we are still married legally, he made all this choices, and suddenly I am the bad guy! and suddenly also he is angry all the time. I am doing therapy for me, and is so hard to be able to do anything about it. he is just so negative, and brings out all my past, I just do not get it and is hard to believe the person you trust and loved does not care for you..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 What you're describing is actually pretty common. I mean, it can't be him that screwed things up, right? So I'm afraid, in his mind, it must be you. See it for what it is and move on... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Noemiforever43 Posted December 22, 2018 Author Share Posted December 22, 2018 I have move on, but we got kids together, and we still have to talk, so even if in his mind is all my fault, he should get over it, don;t you think? Mr. Lucky! I wonder why? is that the name you choose, anyways there is always 2 sides to the story I do appreciate your point of view, and I am done with him, But it takes 2 tango.... It was not just me at fault... But I don't mine taking the blame so for the sake of the kids I stop defending myself. But One thing is been disrespectful like he is and another thing is just his wy of talking to me Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 Noemi, he has a brain injury. In one of your posts, you describe him as irrational and rude. What makes you think that he will be calm, rational, and considerate - especially while under the stress of separation and divorce. Protect yourself and your children as best you can. Communicate through your lawyer and arrange drop-offs/visitation through a third party. Limit your contact and don’t get involved in his drama. This is going to be a difficult road... Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted December 22, 2018 Share Posted December 22, 2018 My xH cheated on me repeatedly for years. When I finally told him I wanted a divorce he was really angry with me. He said and did things purposely to try and hurt me. It's impossible to know why your husband is acting the way he is. It is likely it is the brain injury, but then again sometimes people just don't behave in rational ways. Just stay strong and take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
MilitaryMan Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 Recommend marriage counseling and if he refuses, call it a day. Marriage takes 2 people to work. You both have to be able to effectively communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Tryingtoholdon Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 My husband and I agreed to end our marriage of 5 years. While separated I began dating someone, nothing serious. My husband became angry. He stated that I cheated on him. I felt guilty & ashamed and now I'm undecided on the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 My husband and I agreed to end our marriage of 5 years. While separated I began dating someone, nothing serious. My husband became angry. He stated that I cheated on him. I felt guilty & ashamed and now I'm undecided on the divorce. Abusive people will tell us non-stop how worthless and horrible we are, but they will never let go of us. They're like Velcro on your soul. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 I just don't understand, my husband choose separation, also choose to see other people even thou, we are still married legally, he made all this choices, and suddenly I am the bad guy! and suddenly also he is angry all the time. I am doing therapy for me, and is so hard to be able to do anything about it. he is just so negative, and brings out all my past, I just do not get it and is hard to believe the person you trust and loved does not care for you..... Ending a marriage/separation is difficult no matter who initiates it. And, it's a grieving process. Even the initiator of a separation and/or divorce will cycle through stages of emotion. Anger is where he is at right now. Anger is the default response to a myriad of situations/other emotions as well. I'd say it's more about anger toward the situation more than anger at you specifically. You're just the back board he bounces it off. It's easier to blame someone else. You can tell him that unless he wants to have a constructive conversation toward repairing your marriage or making plans for finalizing a divorce, you will not tolerate him taking his anger out on you. Create your boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 My husband and I agreed to end our marriage of 5 years. While separated I began dating someone, nothing serious. My husband became angry. He stated that I cheated on him. I felt guilty & ashamed and now I'm undecided on the divorce. Welcome to LoveShack. You'll get more traction and better answers by starting your own thread and telling your story there. Look for the "New Thread" button near the top of the page... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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