SLK11 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) Hello all, Me 37 wife 31 Both females, been married a year. she filed for divorce on Oct 6th and I agreed to it I have been in the other room since and things were ok and we were getting along even talking about how to fix are marriage to an extent. Thing is we argue a lot. No kids and we didn't want anything from each other so the divorce process should be simple. Well Oct 12th my wife and I got into a huge argument and I left there was no abuse etc just lots of yelling on both ends and I couldn't take it anymore and had to leave so I did. Fast forward 2 days later after I figured things would have cooled down I texted her asking if I could come back to the house and she agreed. Not 20 minutes later a cop shows up with a temporary restraining order so I have no choice but to leave and Im upset because that was super dirty the way she did that and I still don't understand to this day why she went about it this way. So on the 24th I have a court hearing for the order and honestly I don't want to go I don't feel like seeing her I love my wife don't get me wrong but what she did is unforgivable in my eyes to say I can come home and bam here you go here is a restraining order plus she wrote some nasty things that are untrue about me in her statements like wtf? why lie? why do what she did in the first place? So there it is I needed to vent. I also have a question she filed on the 6th and I haven't been served yet? how long does it take? Thanks for hearing me out fellow love shackers. I am pretty hurt by her actions and I am now trying to figure out how to get past this and trying not to hate her for what she did in the process. Edited October 22, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 If your court clerk has provided electronic case access, you should be able to search the case summaries by your last name to see if/when a lawsuit has been filed. In my jurisdiction, any filing on a family law matter of divorce only has standing if served upon the respondent and proof of that service is provided to the court. Here, it's either the sheriff or a licensed process server. My exW used the sheriff. Guy with a gun and an envelope and a clipboard shows up at the door. Easy. Up to you on the RO hearing. Like with D filings one can present their side or let it go to default judgment of the court. If you have a substantial settlement to work through with your estranged spouse, a RO can be a problem unless you let lawyers handle it all. That's expensive. The family law folks at the courthouse can help with the process on the divorce stuff and you can easily get a free consultation with a lawyer on the rest. Hopefully things will settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SLK11 Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 Thanks for replying. I just looked it up and the latest info is from Oct 18th. Says 20 days summons returned unserved. Well guess she will have to send it to my new address since getting a restraining order on me and me not being at the house where I was supposed to be served. Is this common in people going through a divorce to lash out and be so hateful? I would of eventually left at the end of the month like we agreed on after getting my ducks in a row. I moved 2 hours away and she said she understood. It wasn't until that huge argument that my stbxw got possessed Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Breakups and divorces vary widely. Ours was quite amicable. Others are wars. Around here if an officer provides documents with notice to appear and a date, then that's considered service. I mention that on the TRO stuff. It may differ where you live. On divorce stuff, yeah, service can be delayed by wrong addresses or respondent not available to serve. The lawsuit remains active for the time set by the court, which varies. Once served, the respondent generally has a set period of time to respond. IIRC in our case it was 30 days. After that, the petitioner could file for a default judgment by the court on the original lawsuit filing. If things are amicable, a default can be a great way to save money on the process. If rancorous, poor choice since the filing may be loaded with legal bullets to destroy one and a contest is usually needed or advisable. Our court had a family law division which spelled out the process clearly and simply, and for free. They also provided resources for reducing or waiving filing fees depending on income and to mediation services at reduced or no cost. If your court has that, make use of it. They won't give legal advice. That's what lawyers are for. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 Call the court clerk. You can google it. Ask them what you're supposed to do about appearing in court because you have a restraining order. I wish I knew the answer. Probably it will be lifted for court. You need to go get this over with. Just get it over with. Put it behind you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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