Jump to content

needed on a complicated situation


Recommended Posts

Hi,

 

I was hoping that someone could give me some advice on what might be going through my ex-wife's heart, her feelings. And mine, I suppose.

 

We got divorced six years ago, after five years separated. It was just down to us being too young and stupid and wanting to do different things... we strived for the same outcome, just took different approaches to getting there, unfortunately. We didn't see each other much in the time we were apart but always remained in touch by sms, phone, and it was always lovely when we would bump into each other. She remarried. I didn't. She still keeps her maiden name (she took my name when we married) and I noticed on her facebook that he is nowhere to be seen in any of her pictures.

 

We have been in touch periodically and every time there's still that spark for me - and I kind of get it from her as well. Around six months ago we were in touch by sms and I mentioned a memory from when we were together. She replied that she held the memory dear and had started crying. A week ago we were in touch, again by text. Another memory thing came up. Again, she said she felt like crying and that she really regretted us breaking up, that we had such a great thing, unlike anything else she has had with anyone.

 

A bit of background on her husband. He seems like a really nice guy from the few times I've met him. When they were getting married a few people who knew them and me (but not connected with each other) told me that they couldn't believe she was marrying him, that he was a good guy but that they just couldn't see how they fit together. I couldn't see it at all either. My theory was that time was marching on and she possibly went for the safe bet. I just get the impression that she is not happy and that maybe the spark we had is still there for her as well as I.

 

I'm not suggesting I try to break up a marriage or anything, just wondering if anyone could maybe shed some light on what she might be feeling or what she might want. Why do I want to know? I suppose there's that glimmer of warmth in knowing that maybe she still feels the same way as I do, wanting to be together, missing each other. That it's not just me. In saying that, I don't want her to be unhappy, so maybe it's better that she doesn't feel the same way. But I also don't know what to say to her.

 

Any help or advice would be so wonderful. Annd I must apologise for this very long post. I just wanted to get it all out there.

 

Thanks,

AD

Link to post
Share on other sites

She's married.

What does it matter what she's thinking?

You need to MOVE ON.

It's been 6 years for goodness sake.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That's easier said than done, I'm afraid.

 

You should make an effort to get her off your mind, permanently. She's taken and married. If she divorces, only then would it be appropriate to approach her. At this time, nothing good can come of your advances.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

I wouldn't say that they are advances, though. Yes, we have been in touch but we have always been, on and off with the same amount of frequency.

 

At the end of the day we miss each other's company, being together. The love is still there, we both know that. It's a sad thing about marriage break ups that you never really hear mentioned, that just because you used to be married it automatically precludes you both from being allowed to spend time together, hang out, have fun. Okay, I suppose we still have feeling for each other, but we were still friends - best friends - all the time we were together. It's hard to just turn that off.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...