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I'm screwed financially. ExWife is doing damage. 2 kids.


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Wife wants divorce, have 2 children, we are both broke due to moving/immigration. Credit card debt $12,000. Student loan debt (me $17,000, her $30,000) No savings. One car, bluebook value $5000. I just moved here from Canada, have a Green Card, and have established NO credit.

 

She has kicked me off our credit card. She has said if I use HER car (title in her name, I paid more than half) that she would call the police.

 

I just got a new job, haven't signed contract but making around $40,000/yr. Our children need daycare, which costs about $2000/month. She has somehow gotten a lawyer (probably borrowing money from parents) and wants to have the car, for me to pay her half of credit card debt outright, and for me to pay off part of her student loans. Need to start looking for a lawyer, car, build credit..etc.

 

I don't even know where to begin. I'm looking at the budget and there's no way I can do this! She is going to move in with her parents so she doesn't have to pay rent. I unfortunately don't have that option. Where do I start?

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PegNosePete

Start by seeing a lawyer. Many do a free initial consultation so you can get a lot of good advice for free. In fact see several and get an overall idea of what you can expect. Don't waste your free time by talking about irrelevant stuff such as why the marriage broke down. Stick to the financials.

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Marital debts (student loans may become marital) are $59,000, half of that is $29,500. Minus 50% of the car value from your half is $27,000. Is that what she wants you to pay? That would probably be seen as reasonable.

 

Also presume that if the kids need daycare she must be working, so you'd each be responsible for half that $2,000?

 

Then you're probably looking at half the general costs of raising the kids, which might not be too high while she's living with her parents.

 

As a rule of thumb, about 20% of income here is ordered for child support for 2 kids. If that's the case, it wouldn't even cover your half of the daycare. So you're unlikely to be "screwed" if she ends up paying most of that.

 

You've no assets, the only real issue is the division of debt. Child support is usually very formulaic.

Edited by Mascara
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DivorcedDad123

Are you in the U.S.? If so,which state?

First,don't worry about credit card debt right now. At most,you'll be asked to pay half,if it's a joint account. BUT,you need to get proof that you've been "kicked off the card" and the date,because you don't want to paying for her spending spree.

Right now,you need to circle the wagons and work on basics. Food,shelter,transportation, and a lawyer. Divorces usually take some time, so don't think you're going to be rushed into the courtroom. However,you DO need to answer her petition for divorce(the one you're served with) in the proper amount of time,so that she doesn't win by default.

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If she files for a divorce in Canada, you're probably screwed. Canadian Family Courts really put the screws to the men in divorce.

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Just because she asks - doesn't mean you agree.

 

See an attorney to find out what your legal rights are.

 

The debt might be consolidated and split in two - dividing half to you and her. Or it may be that you take your student loans and she takes hers. Credit card debt may be split as well.

 

Ask a professional. Don't agree with anything she asks for until you get advice... Even if it means asking for free guidance at the courthouse.

 

Who makes more money - her or you?

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Her Bridges

What's the source of your student loans? Private? US Federal loans? Canadian federal loans?

 

There are repayment options in the US that many don't utilize. With similar income and debt I applied for Income Continent Repayment and dropped my payments to less than $200/month. The terms stay the same, but your payments drop and time lengthens. You can also ask for a deferral.

 

Even if they're not federal loans, a private bank may be willing to adjust for you. But you have to call and ask.

 

Just a little tidbit that might ease some of the pressure off.

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If she files for a divorce in Canada, you're probably screwed. Canadian Family Courts really put the screws to the men in divorce.

 

That's more of a blanket statement. Canadian courts put the most emphasis on what is the best interests of the child, not trying to screw over the dad.

 

My experience has been the courts usually push for joint/shared custody of the children. Child support is a prescribed rate, so you can't get "screwed" there. Spousal support is the only thing really up in the air.

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Thanks for the reply. I'm ready to pay half of the credit card, but how will that work out if I have no method of obtaining such a large amount? (Cannot take out loans, no credit in this country, can't borrow). Any ideas? Will it be monthly payments?

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Start with your local community legal aide. legal advice is best served by a practicing attorney. Ironically if she kicked you out, she might have to pay you temporary spousal support. How is the car and loan titled? Credit debts cannot be forced to pay upfront if at all. The judge decides that, not her. She is tossing alotta bs ur way. Again, get proper legal advice.

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vabaseballmom
Wife wants divorce, have 2 children, we are both broke due to moving/immigration. Credit card debt $12,000. Student loan debt (me $17,000, her $30,000) No savings. One car, bluebook value $5000. I just moved here from Canada, have a Green Card, and have established NO credit.

 

She has kicked me off our credit card. She has said if I use HER car (title in her name, I paid more than half) that she would call the police.

 

I just got a new job, haven't signed contract but making around $40,000/yr. Our children need daycare, which costs about $2000/month. She has somehow gotten a lawyer (probably borrowing money from parents) and wants to have the car, for me to pay her half of credit card debt outright, and for me to pay off part of her student loans. Need to start looking for a lawyer, car, build credit..etc.

 

I don't even know where to begin. I'm looking at the budget and there's no way I can do this! She is going to move in with her parents so she doesn't have to pay rent. I unfortunately don't have that option. Where do I start?

 

First go to your local court house and utilize their law library and do some research so you know what you are talking about when you meet with an attorney. Most attorneys will do an hour initial meeting for free, so have all your info ready and a list of questions you want answered.

 

You can seach for a child support calculator by state which will give you a good idea how much you might have to pay.

 

Did she give you the $2000 per month daycare cost? depending on their ages, I HIGHLY doubt that daycare runs that much.

 

If she wants you to pay part of her student loans, you should ask her to foot the bill for part of yours.....

 

also, keep records of everything you can, such as medial insurance or medical bills you pay for her/kids. document the time you spend with the kids so that she can't say you spend less time with them than you actually do

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This is ridiculous. She should pay you. You keep the credit cards and your own student debt=$29,000. She keeps her student debt=$30,000. You now owe her $1,000. Give her your half of the car and she now owes you $1,500.

 

Have her get a quote for the childcare. Several. I wouldn't take her word for it.

 

P.S. In fact I would get quotes myself. You are likely to get 50/50 custody so childcare responsibility is still yours.

 

P.P.S. My math is wrong. You owe her $500. Give her the car and she owes you $2,000.

Edited by loveboid
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