trekker-az Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 My wife came home with hickey's on her neck & now she wants a divorce. We are still living under the same roof. Should I still support her financially. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Depends on your financial situation, how much you make, how much she makes, etc. The divorce will determine that though, not you and not her. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 But until you get that court order, I wouldn't support her at all. Pay off all joint credit cards, cancel them, and set up separate accounts. Does she have a job? Are there any kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 no job! no kids. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 But until you get that court order, I wouldn't support her at all. Pay off all joint credit cards, cancel them, and set up separate accounts. Does she have a job? Are there any kids? When my ex-wife first filed for divorce, I refused to keep giving her any money. She actually turned this around on me in court and tried to make me look like I wasn't "supporting the kids". You have to be careful because sometimes the rules of common sense and natural instinct don't apply in family court and anything you do can be cast in a bad light, especially if you're a man. I can give you a list, if you're curious, of family court cache 22's where, no matter which avenue you take, their lawyer will say you made the wrong choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I'm glad there are no kids, for several reasons. You probably can't make her leave, but you sure can ask her to. Pay the bills, but give her no money at all. Tell her that's loverboy's job from now on. Either that or she can get a damn job. "You fired me from the job of taking care of you. It's no longer my responsibility." Start carrying a VAR (voice-activated recorder) with you at all times. They're failry cheap at places like Best Buy or even WalMart. A great tactic for her would be a false abuse allegation, which will probably get you kicked out while amybe being ordered to pay all of the bills anyways. Protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 When my ex-wife first filed for divorce, I refused to keep giving her any money. She actually turned this around on me in court and tried to make me look like I wasn't "supporting the kids". You have to be careful because sometimes the rules of common sense and natural instinct don't apply in family court and anything you do can be cast in a bad light, especially if you're a man. I can give you a list, if you're curious, of family court cache 22's where, no matter which avenue you take, their lawyer will say you made the wrong choice. This. ^ Get an attorney. He or she will advise you as to your best course of action. My bf, for example, was told by his attorney to keep his ex on his insurance and to keep making her car payment during their separation, even though she was already living with another man. Doing this helped him a lot when his ex was trying to get a bunch of money out of him during the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Family law is ALL about precedent. Judges shy away from making any decisions which will change the status quo. So if you give her money, you've set a precedent and the judge will then order you to keep doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Family law is ALL about precedent. Judges shy away from making any decisions which will change the status quo. So if you give her money, you've set a precedent and the judge will then order you to keep doing it. There's not a court order yet. Time to change the status quo ASAP. At this point, we don't know whether there's even a filed petition for divorce. I'm opposed to paying a cheater to cheat, but I concur with the advice to get a lawyer ASAP. I'd even make a point of interviewing all of the good divorce lawyers in the area, so that they would be conflicted out of representing the wife, assuming she doesn't have a lawyer already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 sure, give me the list. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Most of the list applies to divorces with children. I didn't see you have none. One classic example of a cache-22 in my case was the issue of me visiting my children at their events in their mom's town. This is when we still had week on, week off, exact 50/50 custody and primary hadn't been granted yet. My ex was pushing to have them move back into her hometown 2 hours away. So the question was: should I attend their activities at her town? If I DIDNT attend them, her lawyer would say: "He is a disconnected dad who doesn't value being a part of his kids' lives." If I DID attend them (which I did), her lawyer did in fact say: "See? He has no problem driving to their mom's hometown for their events...so clearly he'd be fine with his kids moving to their mom's hometown." Classic example of getting screwed as a man in family court no matter what you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I did tell her to leave & it didn't work. We just bought a car & it's in my name. What should I do, take the car from her? She's quick to threatened with something. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Have either of you actually filed for divorce yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Should I take my name of the car & have her get her own car insurance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 As for as I now she hasn't file yet. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Then I'd sell the car and tell her to get her own insurance. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Dude, be smart. Don't make any sudden moves. Use your head. Whose name is on what means nothing until the Judge gets his or her say, period. The only thing you have control of is cutting off credit cards in your name. You may be "able" to shift around money in the bank, but that doesn't make it your's or her's. You are married, and legally responsible if your wife was in a serious collision that is her fault, (or visa versa), with or without your insurance, with or without her insurance, with no insuance, whether the car is in your name, her name, or both of your names, or none of your names. Get an attorney to tell you what and when to do things. Cutting off insurance coverage could really tick off a Judge. Listen to your attorney, period. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
Author trekker-az Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 I'm planning on serving my wife the papers. Should I disgust our division of assets before or after i serve her the papers? Link to post Share on other sites
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