sunbeam Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 i cant figure this one out. me and my husband have separted again for the 3rd time in 8 years of marriage. always because of another woman. a little history. we've been together for 17 years married 8. we have two kids 10 and 7. and the marriage over the years has rocky. two months after we were married he came home and told me he did not want this to work i needed to leave so took my daughter and left. then we worked things out and had our son. we moved back to our home town and then a couple of months later i comes home and says he needs a weekend away then comes home packed his things and left me and the kids. this went well for 7 years then just last week he comes home and tells me he going camping by himself knowing better he does not do that. so i became supsions and starting looking on his cell and work pockets and found a new girl that had only been working at his job for 2 weeks. so i know then there was something going on. i let him go for the weekend and when he came back i ask him if had seen her. he said yes but he just sleep on her couch then i ask him to please be honest with me he then told me he had sleep with her. how can someone be with someone and not them but through phone conversations? We'll i ask him to leave and he did and came the next day to get his things. no fight that is not him. then just yesterday he wanted to talk to me about us and he suggested that we divorce he told me that he loved me but not like he use to . but i have heard those words before and it seems to always happen when he meets someone new. but i told him i understood and maybe it would be best. so we have split friendly which has not happen in the past. i have ask him to be honest with me about the ow because i would like to remain friends for the kids but i still think he is lying to me. i just cant figure all this out why does he keep doing this? i have keep my distance this time i dont call and yell or scream i have tried to stay calm but this time i dont know if he will be back. anyone been through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Luvmyblu15 Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Been there done that but mine is the opposite though- in other words Im the one being accused (BIG WORD) accused of sexual things wiht other men but then in reality I was only talking to men /male friends that I know they arent dogs but well getting attentionwas making me feel better made me think wowo its not me at home that is depressed its him! So when the gals & I went out for a drink well I did be just ME & yea had my rings on - said I was married but still got "picked up!"...I just laughed it off & said we can be ffriends thats all ...read on under my post!... LUVMYBLU15 Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 I have been there and done that as well but for only half as long as you. Read my posts... You need to let him go. He will not stop and will not be the man you want him to be, meaning the man you married. I love my husband, but I love the man I married, not the man he is now. You can't keep putting yourself or your children through this. He doesn't deserve to be with you and doesn't deserve to have the opportunity to keep hurting you. My husband and I are getting a dissolution because he now agrees that he has hurt me over and over and doesn't want to continue doing it anymore either. Get out now...it only gets harder the longer you wait! Link to post Share on other sites
Luvmyblu15 Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 well I wont leave him , he is a cop & well Im in law enf as well we are under alot of stress & lately alot from familytoo as well. aLot alot going on here n there & everywhere with that I just want to say this is nothing that cant be over comed & worked on , he & I should see a therapist & get past this , this can make us stronger & bond closer if we can over come it ...I believe <~ My parents were together 33 yrs this past saturday 5/29 god bless them....they had so much go on when I was growing up SO no I wont leave him & hope he thinks the same ... takec are Link to post Share on other sites
sunbeam Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Originally posted by ready2moveon26 I have been there and done that as well but for only half as long as you. Read my posts... You need to let him go. He will not stop and will not be the man you want him to be, meaning the man you married. I love my husband, but I love the man I married, not the man he is now. You can't keep putting yourself or your children through this. He doesn't deserve to be with you and doesn't deserve to have the opportunity to keep hurting you. My husband and I are getting a dissolution because he now agrees that he has hurt me over and over and doesn't want to continue doing it anymore either. Get out now...it only gets harder the longer you wait! Link to post Share on other sites
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