101010 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I met my wife 20+ years ago through a room mate. At that time I was attracted to her physically.....I was dating on and off with other girls when we decided to become a serious couple(not married). Couple years later I was skeptical if we were really soul mates and at this point in time I was considering ending the relationship before being told that she was pregnant with my first born. I have always wanted to do the right thing and Marry if this would have happened in my life and it did. There was no way I was not only going to support her but the child I would be very proud of. Flash forward; We have been pretty much a normal family and ended up having another child a couple years later. Again I was determined to make this relationship work and have so far, especially for the kids.Although through the years I realized were not compatible and I can tell shes not very happy with me deep down. I'm very social person and she isn't. I like to have friends and she has closed out the ones that she use to have No matter how trusting I'am and devoted she doesn't trust me.I like going out and she doesn't unless its her idea. She blames this on her past relationship with men but I reap the pain of constant testing and investigation and blame for 20+ years. My kids are adults now and the question of looking at being happy again, even if its single is cruising through my head like a Subway station. Down inside it is taxing on both of us but we put up with it down below I guess forsaking the pain of divorce and embarrassment.......The thought of going to a marriage counselor sickens me to the fear of making a marriage that was not really meant to be.....work. Is this the beginning of the end? Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 From the way you are writing, this is not the beginning of the end. It is way past that. Be completely honest with her, tell her exactly what is bothering you and that you are considering leaving her. She might change 180 and you might be surprised. All I am saying is try to give it a chance. That's if you think there is a slight chance. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 When staying with someone becomes that much work you may be much better off cutting ties. Life is too short to be unhappy with anything. Look at how fast time passes. I'd rather be embarassed for awhile than continue to stagnate. Link to post Share on other sites
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