beowulf Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 I and my wife have been married for 10 years. Now she wants to divorce, we have 2 lovely daughters. I and my wife have personal conflict for 4 months about her family ( I don't respect her family too much), her hobby and care less for her (don't pay attention when she was sick, not honest when bought her a gift about the price. She is bookkeeping in the house. I can't not lie to her because she will know how much for the gift). Not helpful too much at home, clean up the house, take care the kids at school, joke around with her about her body. My wife is very sensitive on very things. Now I want to save my married and love my daughters. I changed the way I treated her, but she never accepted, the more I care for her the more she hated me. What should I do ????. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 13, 2003 Share Posted November 13, 2003 unfortunately, you can't undo hurt when you've inflicted it on someone, even if you didn't mean for it to be painful ... frankly, her life sounds depressing. you say you love her and your kids, yet you seem to have no respect for her family or her interests; you expect her to wait hand and foot on you and the kids; you say things about her physical appearance that lead her to think she's frumpy. Heck, I'd be unhappy, too, if my husband did that. My wife is very sensitive (about) things unless she's hyper-sensitive and looks for insults, she's probably no more sensitive to these things than the next person. However, it's not about you thinking she's overly sensitive, but about you being respectful of her. she's not perfect, but she does have feelings, you know? if you're trying to "make up" for all the "bad" things you've done (being insensitive), she's going to think you're trying to blow smoke up her butt and therefore refuses to accept this "new you." If you're serious about wanting to make your marriage work, consider marriage counseling, which gives the both of you tools to help your marriage. or, look into a Marriage Encounter weekend, where you learn how to communicate more effectively. This will show her that you ARE serious about being married to her, that you DO respect her as your wife ... Link to post Share on other sites
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