Wife left with kids... hurt

[Echo009]

Hello.. new here and can't believe I am about to spill my guts on a forum, but here goes.

 

I have been with my wife for 7.5 years since I was 16 and she was 17. We got married 2.5 years ago and have 2 children ages 5 and 2.

 

Last Wednesday after an argument over her giving me the cold shoulder for many days, she decided to up and leave to her parents house, with the kids. She left her job the day after, as we both worked for the same company. Since she left, she will not allow me to take the kids out of her parents house until we have a custody agreement because she is "afraid" I won't let her have them back, aka do exactly what she is doing to me back to her. I have never threatened to do this and would never do anything that would intentionally hurt her.

 

Here is where I am at a loss, I have spilled my guts to her and asked if we can work through this with counseling or any other means she wants, and I still do not understand why she left. She tells me there is no hope and that she has been unhappy since basically a few months after we got married. 6 months ago she left without the kids and after a few days, we reconciled and I thought things were ok, although I could feel the coldness, lack of emotion from her on some days. She says she left because she no longer loves me like a wife should love a husband. This I don't understand. At times I may not like something she does, but I have never stopped loving her.

 

Since she left it has been a roller coaster... ups and downs. I cried uncontrollably a few times in the first couple of days, then again after I spilled my guts to her and she simply said no. Now I mostly feel emptiness. I am alone in our family home, everything reminds me of her, shows on TV remind me of her. I try and think of other things, but each day just to see my kids I have to go to her parents house and play with them right infront of her, as she acts like nothing is wrong, telling me "chin up" as if I can simply stop the pain in a single moment.

 

I am lost... she was my high school sweet heart, my true love, I have been with her since I was 16 and have never been single as an adult. I simply don't know what I can do. Part of me wants her back more than anything you can imagine, but another part of me simply says move on... if she loved me, how could she do this to me.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I think the first matter to do is get a lawyer and get them home!!! why is she taking your kids without your permission in the first place? WTF? something doesnt feel right, dont listen to anything she says she could be lying!!!

[Alan430]

Chrome is right. Go see a lawyer and start taking action to protect youself. With her quitting her job it almost sounds like she is going to try to milk you financially. I would think like my wife, when she decided to walk she turned her Part time job into full time. She still comes after me for money daily.

 

As far a reconciling man you may as well just go ahead and forget about it. This works two ways as in moving on is the way to get her to come back, and once you get moving on into your heart you will heal faster.

 

Do No call and also 95% of the time you hear those "I dont love you anymore" phrase there is usually an affair(physcial or Emotional) behind the scenes. Start snooping the phone bill or hire a PI. Get as much dirt as you can and do not tell her for ammo if it gets ugly.

 

I feel your pain man, I have been physically seperated going on some months now, and it gets alot easier. What has totally helped me was to start going nutz in the gym. My confidence has improved and i worked off some stress.

 

Oh and do not think she is the same person as she was and do not trust her!!!! i cannot stress this enough. Once you get on an agreement writh it all out and both sign it. I think once fancial crap starts hitting her she is going to want more and more. So come to terms early and have something signed. Its not full proof but its something.

[imagine]

Here are a couple of problems:

 

1. She has not been attended to when she goes off. You have not negotiated the differences.

2. You have allowed her to take the family away. This is called parental kidnapping in some areas.

3. She may have acquired someone else that she is leaning up against. Snoop.

4. Go to marriagebuilders. com and READ their articles, especially when a woman leaves a man. The articles are free.

5. Fix your marriage. You sound as though you go off when something goes wrong.

 

Good luck. Start learning NOW.