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Recovering from a divorce

Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

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Old 10th April 2002, 12:21 PM   #1
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Recovering from a divorce

Whats your best advice/help to give someone whos going through something that feels like the end of the world to them??????? I know your all going to say spend time with close friends, but what if time alone is preferred????????? I want to help out my good friend, but shes shutting herself off from everyone and frankly, im worried. I could use some other options...
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Old 10th April 2002, 12:41 PM   #2
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Re: Recovering from a divorce

It is not unusual for someone getting divorced to feel like being alone. In my opinion, it is healthy to do so for a period of time. Give your friend some time to grieve. When people are in grief they just don't want to be around others.

Do keep in touch with her regularly and let her know you are thinking about her. Do invite her out with you. Occasionally, insist that she go with you or meet you for a bite to eat or movie or something. Buy her a good book that you have read and think she would enjoy.

You can't make her recover from this or set a time scale to it. She will have to do it in her own way, in her own time. All you can do is offer friendship and let her know you care.
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Old 10th April 2002, 1:03 PM   #3
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Re: Recovering from a divorce

Every person has to work out their hurt and pain in their own way. Respect your friend's boundaries, offer to be there, but don't impose yourself beyond that. When she wants to be with others, she will call. As long as she knows others care and are thinking about her, she will know she is welcome to have her friends around her when she's ready.

A divorce can be devastating for some...a joyous occasion for others.
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Old 9th May 2002, 10:43 PM   #4
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What You Should Do

Just be there when she needs you. Tell her you are here for her when ever she needs you, even if its 4am.

When your with her, bring her some tea, comfort her as you would want to be comforted and then some. If you make a trip to the grocery, call and ask if she needs anything. Not so much as smother comfort but go out of your way comfort.

Talking is the best remedy! Let her do the talking. Which reminds me, I was in a relationship that had me down all the time. Off and on through that r/s I dated people when my r/s went through severe times. I went on a date and later he drove me home, I invited him in and I fell apart. I couldnt pull myself together for anyone. We sat and I talked from the late evening hours on until 6am and didnt even realize it. Afterwards, I felt great.

Everything built up inside her does have to come out eventually. This process of the body healing emotionally can take a very long time depending on the emotional wound. Healing from divorce is right there along with healing from the death of a loved one. If not worse!

She should be reassured at all times that everything will be okay. Thats she is strong, stronger than she knows. Things WILL be okay! And THATS what she needs to tell herself and hear from you.
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