Moving into a new house, but ending marriage!

[THEBIGARC]

My W and I are in the process of moving into our new house we just had built. She told me 3 wks ago that she has feelings for an ex and is not in love with me. After trying to change her mind, going to MC, she has made it clear that our marriage is over. There is no way I can afford to move out and why should I? This is our dream house. I am supposed to just let her live her dream with this OM in our house. We have a 4 y/o son and I want to be with him everyday. So, I have read some really good post about living as a seperated couple. I am going to try to do some of the tings, limit contact with her. work on me, and just concentrate on my son. It is so hard though. I long for her affection and it isn't there. Starting today I am going to have tough love. I am hoping we can reach an agreement on the house and assets without a big fight.

 

Any other suggestions as to what I can do while I live with my future ex wife?

 

I am going to really concentrate on work more. It has slipped since this all started. I went out last night and that was no fun. I am just not ready for that. I think I am starting with church today; we always go to mass as a family. Well, I am going by myself today. I have to limit contact with her to begin my healing process. She says she is afraid of making the biggest mistake of her life in leaving me. Well, I need to let her find out.

[georgia girl]

Not sure this will help but, here's a woman's perspective:

 

She probably has feelings for BOTH you and the OM. However, right now the OM is more attractive to her. Still, she fears leaving you will be a mistake.

 

Start moving on. Have fun with your son, be successful at work and enjoy your life without her. I know that's easier said than done, but here's what I can tell you. A man who is trying to push a relationship onto a woman - even his own wife - will be unattractive to her. It's the chase thing. If, instead, you start enjoying life and reminding her about all the things she'll be missing without you in her life, you'll become much more attractive to her. I'm not saying be dishonest - tell her that yes, you'd love to share this new home and your future together, but that might not happen. And rather than wallow, you're going about your life and you'll see what the future holds.

 

Most women love a good chase... .

[THEBIGARC]

I am doing just that. I told her no huggs or kisses. We are no longer going to resturants together. It was hard to do, but she can not keep me hanging on. I am trying to move on. She cried at 1st and said no and she was confused. A full day later, she is fine with it. We talk about normal stuff and have not much other contact. We split time today with our son. I had him early and she left to go do whatever i.e mall, call ex bf. She had our son in the afternoon and I went do things for me. I am trying to be strong. I believe I can do this, but I know it will be hard. I am praying to God it doesn't go past Oct. Hopefully, the house will sell and I can move.

 

I have another question. I met a nice woman on the internet and told her I just want to be friends. Do you think it is a good idea to pursue this. I am afraid I might use her as a crutch. I am going to try to keep it on a friendship level, but you know how that changes sometimes with men and women as friends first. She is very attractive also, so that makes it even harder not to want more. I know I am no where near ready for that though.

[georgia girl]

Okay, tough love time. Just my perspective, but this whole internet dating thing always makes me cringe. The internet lets you become who you always wanted to be, rather than who you are. I'm just not a fan.

 

However, to the bigger question. You probably need to go out and look - but do that with some friends at a happy hour or something. Don't get involved yet. Date a little - have some fun. The last thing you want is to end up in another committed relationship before you're ready. IMO, that's how people choose the wrong mate.

 

Good luck!

[Gunny376]

:mad:First the wife?

 

Nothing but 100% hard corps tough love~ just like the Umpires say in MLB~ "YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!"

 

She had her chance ~ she blew it! "NEXT! KEEP THE LINE MOVING! LIFE IS TOO SHORT! Yea, Yea, Yea, I've heard it all before!":mad: :mad:

 

Go No contact ~ indifference ~ "whatever"!

 

Its not about you working your way back to her ~ its about her working her way back toward you!

 

The other guy is Plan "A" You? Your Plan "B" ~ your the fall-back guy!

 

"Oh! I've always loved you! Your the love of my life! I cherish you! I relish you! ~ You're all I ever wanted in my life!" BS!

 

You? You're her meal ticket, her paycheck, her "early-retirement plan" (aka "I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom-and take care of our babies!") all the while she's out scrogging some other guy and get's PO if you indulge in self-abuse in the toliet?!