brokenheart79 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 He says we don't click sexually which I agree with him. That's why he did it. He says he never went through with it because she never emailed back. Our life was perfect. We love our son and we love each other so much. How could he do this to me? Is this enough for me to end our marriage? Am I a fool to wanting to believe what he says about never doing it? Will guys never admit to it unless caught in the action? Has anyone out there that went through with this kind of stuff and save their marriage? I really dont' want to leave him and don't want my son grow up in a broken home. Am I unrealistic to believe that guys could stay faithful during the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 He says we don't click sexually which I agree with him. That's why he did it. He says he never went through with it because she never emailed back. Our life was perfect. We love our son and we love each other so much. How could he do this to me? Is this enough for me to end our marriage? Am I a fool to wanting to believe what he says about never doing it? Will guys never admit to it unless caught in the action? Has anyone out there that went through with this kind of stuff and save their marriage? I really dont' want to leave him and don't want my son grow up in a broken home. Am I unrealistic to believe that guys could stay faithful during the marriage? Not cool at all. He should have talked to you about a possible open end marriage since you say that you two aren't compatible sexually. That or he should have brought up the idea of MC or a divorce. Believe it or not, but their are still guys out there who choose to remain faithful in a marriage. How did you find out about the escort? Dids he tell you or did you find it yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
buttery Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I really sympathize with your situation. I am in a similar situation. My husband didnt log out of his email and I saw an email from a member of a website that basically solicits casual sex flings. Needless to say my heart dropped to the floor! I went to the site and saw he just registered and not only that one of his buddies was a member on the site because I saw his picture so he probably is the one who told my husband about it. I havent said anything to him about it because I dont know how to approach the situation either. I keep checking the site and he has not logged back on since he registered but still the problem is he registered so obviously he is interested in seeking fulfillment elsewhere. I think if you and your husband love each other and have an open line of communication then maybe you should approach him about it. Try to sort thru what your marriage is missing intimately and address it head on. All marriages need spicing up from time to time and mine included. I would strongly suggest counseling too. There is no guarantee that he is not lying to you or that it wont happen again, you have to determine what is best for you. Seek the counseling first if you want to work on the marriage and go from there. Sorry I dont have more advice, hang in there though. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Buttery, if your H's friend is a member, your H could have signed up because of him with no intentions of cheating. Many of these Boards are like this one...people chit chat with nothing more. Yes, he could have intentions, but is is also quite possible that he joined because his friend mentioned it. And many times just to view/post requires a membership. Back to brokenhearted He says we don't click sexually which I agree with him. That's why he did it. He says he never went through with it because she never emailed back. Our life was perfect. We love our son and we love each other so much. How could he do this to me? Is this enough for me to end our marriage? Am I a fool to wanting to believe what he says about never doing it? Read the two highlighted sentences...they are contradictory. If your sex life was not good, this is a sign that your marriage is not perfect. Since you typed it, then I am guessing that a bad sex life is not a big deal for you. For your husband it is. (I do not like it when men say, "I cheated (or almost cheated) because YOU...(fill in the blank)." SO, it is not fair that he uses your poor sex life as his excuse. Reality is...he should have dealt with the issue within the bounds of marriage...communication or counseling.) He did it to you, because he has no sex life. I do not condone it, but an email is intent but not action. It certainly is not a reason to end your marriage. It is the perfect "slap in the face" wake up call that could make your marriage become almost perfect. This says that while you think your life was perfect, he did not. It is time for the two of you to face the problem sitting between you....sex. Why is it a problem? It is entirely possible that he did consider seeing an escort, but it is also quite true that he did not plan on it. He could have realized that it was good that no return email was sent. On the other hand, he could be lying completely...he could have visited one...or still plans on it. But I do not believe it. Now the problem is out in the open. Now is the time for a solution. Marriage counseling would be very helpful if you cannot solve the sex problem between the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
buttery Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 well you could be right but I think it is just as you said to the other poster. He has showed "intent" but has not acted on it yet...that I know of. I just dont want to worry about my husband seeking sexual fufillment outside of the marriage. I believe we also have mismatch sex. He could have it everyday 2 or 3 times a day when I am just not that motivated. Time will tell, I think I should start being proactive and work on what I see are issues. Thanks all, and for the original poster dont give up on him, seek marriage counseling and be willing to compromise with your husband some. Link to post Share on other sites
Nomad1 Posted February 11, 2008 Share Posted February 11, 2008 Confronting your husband may backfire. Maybe he registered on the site out of curiosity. Try to find ways of meeting each other halfway in relation to the sex. This is the time to seek counselling. If nothing is done, he may develop an affair and before you know it he may start asking for divorce! That is how fragile relationships are these days Nomad1 Link to post Share on other sites
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