Ugh, seperation in progress -- still living with ex...ugh!

[HeyYouGuys]

Long and ranty post...sorry. I guess I just need to vent

 

 

I remain living with my partner (never technically married, but in LT/monogamous relationship for years) while we complete renovation on a house we purchased....

 

it was originally to be a joint investment property. Later, as we came to terms with our dissolving relationship, I offered to buy him out so that I could have my own house to move into

 

So far, that has been moving along. I got the loan, will be able to buy him out and move hopefully by next week

 

The strain of remaining together in the same house (really no choice...my friends and family don't live close by, I can't afford a hotel when I'm already paying a mortgage + a loan) has been taking its toll.

 

We are both exhausted, having spent every waking minute doing renovations (wallpaper stripping, painting, moving heavy appliances, etc) when we're not at our full-time jobs.

 

Generally speaking, we have been civil towards one another. At some points, things even felt a bit 'normal', where we'd sit and eat dinner together and watch TV afterwards just as if we were still together.

 

Difference is, we'd head off to seperate bedrooms afterwards, with no goodnight hugging or kissing now.

 

So wierd.

 

Well, last night he came home after working on the house (after a ten hour day at his office) and just started breaking down. He's exhausted. He wishes the mortgage guy would hurry up and get me the papers to sign. He's sick of the house. He's sick of paint and primer and cleaning up. He's sick of boxes everywhere. He just dumped and dumped and dumped all his frustration out on me and wel....I just snapped.

 

I blew up and told him to stop the damn dumping on me. I've been working so hard I've worked myself into a bad cold and a case of sinusitis that won't quit. I'm taking sleeping pills to sleep....and even those don't work all the time. I'm stretched thin, irritable, angry and sometimes emotionally labile.

 

We had a horrible argument.

 

I really just hated him at that moment. I couldn't wait to get out of this damn house!!!!!!

 

 

Later I talked to a friend of mine who was divorced a year ago. He says he went through a similar episode, where he coudln't move out right away either. It was a very wierd, uncomfortable time.

 

 

Anyway, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope other people who are in similar situations can just remind me, "Yes, this too shall pass"

[FlyingHigh]

Oh, yessss...that too shall pass... just not fast enough.

 

Went through the same with XHTB for a month until 9/11. He slept in the guest bedroom and it was very strain and cold. I dreaded to watch him come home and have him around because I knew anytime he opened his mouth, it was all suprficial.

 

Is your partner's moving out date contingent to you buying him out? If not, why doesn't he find a short term rental elsewhere? Maybe he really doesn't want to move out? You weren't specific as to why all of sudden you two are separating....I realinze I'm reading between the lines, but maybe you can fill us in a little more.