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Maybe It'll work - But you gotta work on yourself 1st..


lifestyle1

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My live in BF of almost 4 yrs, became angry at me and said he needed time to think about us. What I did was change the locks. Yes, I over reacted, but threatening to move out, cuz you're frustrated or angry is a deal breaker. He said he didn't intend for us to break up, but out of anger said, "I need to think" What I heard tho, was he was breaking up with me. So he moved into his mobile home (sounds so tacky) that happens to be parked in his ex=wives driveway. It is an apt on wheels with a functioning bathroom/shower, kitchen, bedroom. His Ex is in the process of job interviewing on the EC and considering a move before the school year is up, so BF discussed with me the probability of residing in his ex's house should she accept this position until graduation (she is 1 block away).

 

At first I wanted no contact. Then we began talking about past hurts and how we communiate. He began talking and confiding with a female friend. They had lunch 2 or 3 times, but spoke almost daily (she is going thru a divorce). RED FLAG ALERT. This is not OK. If you cannot talk in front of me with this person, it consitiutes as cheating in my book.

 

She still lives with soon to be x- husband. and during this time BF came home after work. I went thru his credit card statements and there were no hotels, so Im pretty sure they did not rendevouz (he is almost 20 years older and the girl is a friend of his god daughters. BUT I MADE OUR BREAKUP ALL ABOUT THIS GIRL. He has admitted that his behavior was wrong.

Admitted he was sorry and immature and angry. Said he loved me, and wants to be with me, but because of all our unresolved anger, perhaps we should live apart for the time being and work on resolving this. Neither of us wants this to end. I am in therapy, reading and journaling.

 

I am working on myself, and my own rage issues which cause me to detach from him. We have put time, energy, and effort into this relationship, but both are immature emtionally. We both dont want to date others, and now speak daily and have had sex like 4 times. I have not suggested therapy together, because i feel like i need to get myself together right now.

 

This is the thing. Right now I am focused on my own behavior in relationships and improving them. I am not concerned nor do I want him to move back in. I kind of enjoy not cooking, cleaning for him and going to bed when i want to.

 

I dont know what purpose this post will have except that any time else I have posted, I have received responses to close the door and dead bolt it.

I dont want to do that...

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