athletictommyj Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 So she came over and I thought the best thing would be to say we cant be friends bc I still have feelings for you and she said that the simple fact of her coming over there was the point of that it was not over between us and there was still a chance. Did I totally blow it? If she calls should I answer? I totally hurt her feelings and made her feel dumb. I didn't mean to, I just did. Then she left and was mad. Is there still hope and if there is what should I do? Thanks so much Link to post Share on other sites
sundrop Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Are you wanting her back ? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 My guess here is you a) jumped the gun in telling her how she feels/felt instead of staying silent for a moment to see what she had to say... and b) after she said that was the point of her coming over... (just a guess) but you got cocky and it pissed her off... IF you're wanting her back, then yeah answer when she calls... AND instead of talking for her explain that you didn't give her the chance before to tell you what was on her mind, that you're sorry and see what she has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Three days ago she said this: she says she is not in-love with me. The reasons she gave me were that she is only 20 and that she doesn’t know if being with me is what she wants And she somehow magically expects you to know this now? she said that the simple fact of her coming over there was the point of that it was not over between us and there was still a chance. You will need to sit her down, and let her know that you are not a mind reader. Three days ago she dumped you. How on earth are you supposed to deduce that her coming by means she wants to get back together when she has already given you the lame "friends" attempt at breakup? How are you supposed to know the difference between "friends" and "getting back together"? The answer? YOU AREN'T. She needs to stop playing these games with you and come right out and tell you what it is she wants - or whether or not she even knows what she wants. If she tells you "I don't know" then you are left with a clear choice: put your life on hold for the "I don't know/backburner position" or cut her loose and move on with your life to meet someone who will be absolutely sure and confident in the love she wants to share with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author athletictommyj Posted September 23, 2005 Author Share Posted September 23, 2005 I do want her back but I had no idea that her coming over meant anything. She said that her coming over was our starting over as friends and building a relationship from there but not getting back together. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 If getting back together is what you want, then there is absolutely no reason you should settle for less. All you will be doing is setting yourself up for heartbreak. What will your reaction be when she starts seeing someone else? Will you still be 'friends' then? If that isn't something you can handle you are probably better off just letting her know that you cannot handle 'friends' and that you need your own space and time away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
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