DrPhilsPubes Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 Hello! I got back with my ex after about a 7-8month break. I’ve grown and changed as much as a person can in that time span yet he has stayed the same. If not worse. I begged for him back and then went no contact because i realized I needed to get a hold of myself. I went to therapy, started seeing a nutritionist to lose weight, focused on my degree, and just overall worked hard to change despite being sad about him. I’m pretty sure all he did in between our breakup is dated a loser, got high, and watched YouTube. I feel bad because I want more and expect more now that I’ve changed from the person I was before and i had conversation with him about my 2-5 year plan and my expectations from the relationship and he said “okay” I’m just wondering if I should give it a chance or end things now. When do you know a person isn’t going to better their life. Because I realize depending on circumstances my past 7-8 months could have been ****. Also I feel like an ******* for trying to get him back and the possibly breaking it off straight away. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 This is why getting back together is a bad idea. The person will more then likely never change. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted May 9, 2019 Share Posted May 9, 2019 What you're finding out is that what you were missing was the idea of him; that most young relationships run their course, serve their role, and are best left in the past once they end. It sounds like you've continue to grow as a person and, subsequently, are finding out that he no longer complements the person you've become. I don't think you stand to gain anything from staying other than continued reinforcement that you two are no longer a good fit. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kathsil Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 (edited) Hello! I got back with my ex after about a 7-8month break. I’ve grown and changed as much as a person can in that time span yet he has stayed the same. If not worse. I have recently got back together and broke it off straight away because of the same reason: I have changed and he didn't and was doing more of the same shyt. I have grown and he doesn't and he wants to stay in the same place. The thing is, with a dynamic like this, you are NOT gonna pull him up, especially because you cannot and should not do the work for him, and he will be the one pulling you down, because he will drain you and frustrate you. From your post, I can tell he's already making you feel that. He will stop your personal growth basically, like a dead weight. Get rid of him and focus on yourself. You are better off on your own and free to find someone who wants to grow with you. I know I am. Edited May 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 Ask yourself the age old Ann Landers' question: are you better off with him or without him? He already broke your heart once. Now that you have grown as a person but he's devolved, where is the allure? What do you get out of going backwards in life? When you answer those Qs, you will know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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