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How To Move On


Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 4th March 2019, 11:47 PM   #1
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How To Move On

Can we talk more about "moving on" like the practical steps does it mean to go on a date with someone else or sleep with someone or what exactly in terms of practical measures to literally move on??
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Old 4th March 2019, 11:50 PM   #2
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Apply no contact is you're only option to "move on".
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Old 4th March 2019, 11:58 PM   #3
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Delete that person's phone number.

Put away any pictures or gifts or reminders (in a box at the back of your closet)

Give my home a good cleaning including washing the sheets, blankets, comforter, everything (get rid of any residual perfume smells, etc.)

When that is finished, go out... go get social... meet people... talk to people... have a beer at the local pub. Join human kind.

Its not going to do me any good to sit on my couch and think about what the other person is doing without me, or if they are having fun, or if they are sleeping with someone or thinking about what might have been.

When I go out on a date with someone new, they are not the previous person and shouldn't have to deal with the crap that was previously inflicted on me, same with having sex with someone new, fresh slate, fresh new chapter of life, clean new sheet of paper to start writing on.
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:15 AM   #4
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These are my steps:

1. Grieve the loss of the relationship. You get a short time immediately after the break up to cry & wallow. You can't miss more than 1 day of work school but have yourself a good cry.

2. Purge. Get rid of all the stuff. Either throw it all out or put it in a box then hide the box in the attic. If you can't delete the photos save them to a thumb drive & stick that in the box too.

3. Get support. Surround yourself with good people -- family, dear friends people who will lift you up.

4. Reinvent. Get a new haircut; buy some new clothes, rearrange the furniture in your house. Just do something different.

5. Move. Go to the gym. Take up running. Get sun on your face.
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:33 AM   #5
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These are my steps:

1. Grieve the loss of the relationship. You get a short time immediately after the break up to cry & wallow. You can't miss more than 1 day of work school but have yourself a good cry.

2. Purge. Get rid of all the stuff. Either throw it all out or put it in a box then hide the box in the attic. If you can't delete the photos save them to a thumb drive & stick that in the box too.

3. Get support. Surround yourself with good people -- family, dear friends people who will lift you up.

4. Reinvent. Get a new haircut; buy some new clothes, rearrange the furniture in your house. Just do something different.

5. Move. Go to the gym. Take up running. Get sun on your face.
I've done all that. Its actually been two years...no...one year or a year and a half...I dont know

the dude is starting to come back into my dreams and thoughts it is completely annoying I would choose not to think about him like thinking about him getting married feels competitive rather than jealous its weird with him i still think we had this soulful weird connection but I'm so Over it ps this make sense im half asleep...
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:34 AM   #6
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Apply no contact is you're only option to "move on".
No contact. I literally have no idea where or what this guy is doing. There is zero contact. I stopped going places I thought he might be. Nothing the guy is dead to me.
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:41 AM   #7
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these are my steps:

1. Grieve the loss of the relationship. You get a short time immediately after the break up to cry & wallow. You can't miss more than 1 day of work school but have yourself a good cry.

2. Purge. Get rid of all the stuff. Either throw it all out or put it in a box then hide the box in the attic. If you can't delete the photos save them to a thumb drive & stick that in the box too.

3. Get support. Surround yourself with good people -- family, dear friends people who will lift you up.

4. Reinvent. Get a new haircut; buy some new clothes, rearrange the furniture in your house. Just do something different.

5. Move. Go to the gym. Take up running. Get sun on your face.
thanks all for replies. This forum is lovely and kind.
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:42 AM   #8
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To OP...

What steps have you done to get back out there?? Have you gone on any dates??

Have you gone out for a pint of Guinness??

By the way, I'm super jealous you get the good Guinness in Ireland; I've heard it is so much better than what we get here in the US.
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Old 5th March 2019, 12:52 AM   #9
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To OP...

What steps have you done to get back out there?? Have you gone on any dates??

Have you gone out for a pint of Guinness??

By the way, I'm super jealous you get the good Guinness in Ireland; I've heard it is so much better than what we get here in the US.
NO LOL WHAT IS A DATE LOL oh maybe last Saturday me and a male friend talked intimately for like two hours.

I do like an oul Guinness but with blackcurrant which is sacrilege lol
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Old 5th March 2019, 1:01 AM   #10
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Are there any local pubs that you can frequent (by yourself)?? There has got to be a nice neighborhood bar... You are in Ireland, come on.

Do men approach you or talk to you when you are out in public?? Do you have any hobbies/sports?? Do you watch soccer?? What efforts have you made to get back out there??

A year or so is a long time not to date...
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Old 10th March 2019, 10:27 AM   #11
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HMM This is making me think about my dating life.

Do I go to pubs? Sometimes
Do I play sports? No
I am in a writing group. There are averagely attractive men in it. I notice I am one of the fittest in the group I keep in Shape I'm pretty I get comments you're pretty.

Does anyone use the word date in Ireland...to be honest nobody says date in Ireland. Hmm I think this is the reason I'm thinking about my ex and talking to men from 4 years ago lol
Ok so logically to start dating I need to what ask someone out? I did get hurt though now and Jesus I couldn't go through that again! It nearly killed me!
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Old 11th March 2019, 10:35 AM   #12
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Do I go to pubs? Sometimes
Well, then... go out tonight and have a pint of Guinness!

I'm with you in spirit!!

Maybe just maybe, you'll no longer be "desperately seeking", you'll be found. If you see a guy you find attractive, strike up a conversation, see where it goes. Bond over a pint or two.
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