just1looking2 Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 It does not have to be technically grand, but I am looking for some ideas of a thoughtful romantic gesture for an ex, at a stage where we are having good positive interactions. Lets assume (please no arguments) that she wants to be chased a little.......what might make your heart open a bit ? Please no negative nellies or flamers Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 Grand gestures can backfire. What happened & where are you & the person you are trying to impress now? that will help to inform the type of grand gesture. I don't suggest you start there. Not everybody wants you under their window with a boom box or for you to drop down on one knee. Start with flowers & an apology / love note 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 Doing so just may destroy your chances. There needs to be more context. Who dumped who? Who initiated the renewed interaction? This determines the way the interaction has to go. As a general rule you never want grand gestures except with your wife at anniversary time, holidays, or something like that. Doing that with GFs and Exs often just backfires. In the case of an Ex,...when they reach out to you then you just set the next date. If you run around in circles and just chit-chat but never make a date they will become frustrated with you and give up. Each time they contact you, just do the same thing. When on the date never discuss negatives, never discuss why you split up. You must treat that as if it just never happened. You didn't say who was male or female, but what a woman remembers about a date is how she felt. Other details are secondary. It is important that she leave from the date with happiness, not negativity, tension, or anger from negative conversations, or pressure or being boxed in by "grand gestures". Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 (edited) I read your other thread. No grand gesture to the mom, your EX, is going to change the daughter's sour attitude. If mom won't tell the kid that her life & your role in it, is her business & the daughter doesn't get a veto you cannot over come this obstacle. About the only thing I can think of that might work is family counseling with the 3 of you so some doctor can drag out of the daughter what her problem is. 5 years ago when you & mom started, the young girl probably felt like you were trying to take her daddy's place & she resented you for it. Now that you have been in the role of bad guy for so long, she doesn't care to change her view of you. Edited November 26, 2018 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fiskadoro Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Please avoid the grand gesture. Spectacular doesn't keep people together, good day to day vibes and giving your partner a sense of comfort are the glue of a relationship. Grand gestures are the stuff of the corniest movies, and there they should remain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 you know the woman......we dont...you have to use your eyes your knowledge and your heart.....the results will be true thoughtfulness......the most thoughtful idea has to come from you if you are truly into her.....not from randoms....there are no easy answers to get someone back...she has to want you.... like donnivain said counselling would probably help the most..... i feel the grandest gesture any gentleman could offer a woman....is honesty and forthrightness on your very intentions.... the romance and desire comes later from knowing the person inside as they are now as your ex rather than your lover........you will then know what is needed to work it out to have that romance again...it will be different.....and sorry....well...if a sorry is warranted...its a necessity you give that sorry up and really mean it to step forward...not just to have her....but to understand why you needed to say it....regardless of being together or not......deb Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 the gesture must fit her, do not make just any gesture no matter how compelling it sounds what is she into? how would you describe her to your mom? to your best male friend? base your gesture/s specifically on these factors...not about money, spend some, okay, but be appropriate regarding what she is about as an individual 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ducksauce Posted January 4, 2019 Share Posted January 4, 2019 The grand gesture will end up backfiring. What is romantic in movies will come off as phony in real life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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