Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Second Chances

how do i make this into something more?

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

Like Tree1Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 25th January 2018, 12:19 AM   #1
New Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1
fwb/emotional support friend arrangement?

i broke up with this guy after dating him for 2 years. it was kind of a bad breakup but eventually i was okay. he dated 2 other people after me and i went out with a bunch of new guys, but never a committed relationship because i wasn't ready.

its been two years since the breakup and we've reconnected again after a while of on/off texting. we mostly connected by talking about our issues/mental health problems and it was easy and nice because we both said it felt comfortable. we've been each other's emotional support and he always shoots me a text when he's feeling down and i do the same and he tries to call me or make me feel better.

recently we started sexting a little and now that he's back in town for a bit, we started hooking up. we both talked about it beforehand that it was going to be just a non exclusive thing and that we can do it when we're around each other but if i wanted to end it or found someone i wanted to date, i should let him know. he said he'll do the same but doesn't think he wants to date anyone for a while.

we hang out together around his friends, he's invited me to things he goes to as his plus one and all that stuff. we talk pretty much every day through text.
and i'm just confused because i dont know where this is going. i wouldn't be opposed if he wanted to get back together but how do i make him want to? what do i do from here?
chasingwildflowers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2018, 12:41 AM   #2
Established Member
CaliBabe's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 826
These are just my opinions and a male perspective can chime in at any time... however, my thought are... men do not respect a FWB. He does not wife a FWB. He's basically using you... It's like you're good enough to have sex with but not good enough to be my girlfriend. Is that how you see yourself? I dunno... everyone is different however I think I am way too bomb to be a FWB. A man should go out of his way to win you over. Take you out, make you feel special and loved. FWB is not special, in fact its insulting.

I don't mean to sound harsh but I just want you to look at your value. Sex with you should be something he works for. Not freely given without work or he will not value it or you.

You deserve better girl and if you want him as your bf get that! As you stated you would be open to reconciliation and you are asking how you can get more... You get more when you require more. Don't settle for the bottom of the barrel FWB you are better than that. Keep that in mind... You are not a side piece FWB, you are a wifey.

Fellas am I off basis here with this thought process?
CaliBabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2018, 12:41 AM   #3
Established Member
BC1980's Avatar
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 7,495
I don't think there's anything you can do to make him want to get back together. You've already had sex and agreed it would be no strings attached, so you can't try the hard to get angle. I think the only option here is to lay your cards on the table.
BC1980 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2018, 1:00 AM   #4
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 8,696
You can't make someone want to do anything. All you can do is be honest about your feelings and see if they feel the same way.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th February 2018, 4:19 PM   #5
Established Member
xUnknown's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 992
Originally Posted by CaliBabe View Post
men do not respect a FWB. He does not wife a FWB. He's basically using you... It's like you're good enough to have sex with but not good enough to be my girlfriend.
I would disagree with that. I went into what I thought was a FWB thinking that's all it was. Turns out we both had feelings for each other and wanted to see where things go. It has since ended, but the feelings on both ends were real. We both saw a future with the other person.

Just because you started as a FWB doesn't mean he isn't feeling the same way you are. Feel things out a little more and see where things take you two.
xUnknown is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to make my friend save himself ? Does therapy make you end toxic relationships? PissOfMind Friendship 11 31st December 2015 2:04 PM
Being asked how much money you make. How does it make you feel? kaylan Dating 32 18th January 2015 8:37 AM
QUESTION: Should I make him make an effort? ConfusedT Breaks and Breaking Up 8 14th May 2013 10:29 PM
tried to make him make a move...did it backfire moonsilk General Relationship Discussion 9 1st April 2010 9:17 AM
Make them fight, or make a fool of them Lostandfound Breaks and Breaking Up 2 13th January 2007 8:29 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:45 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.