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Girlfriend wants me back! Now what?

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 19th December 2017, 3:49 AM   #1
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Girlfriend wants me back! Now what?

My girlfriend (26) broke up with me (24) 4 months ago, after a 2 year relationship. She told me she felt like she didn't know how to be alone or independent, and has never known what its like to be single (she has only been in long term relationships for her entire 20's). She said she wanted to be together again 'one day' in the future, but thought she would come to resent me if we stayed together.

It really hurt, and came out of nowhere for me. For the three months following I went strictly No Contact in order to forget about her. It felt like she was making excuses, so I assumed she was letting me down easy and keeping me on ice just in case things didn't work out.

I was doing well, feeling less invested in us getting back together and quite happy doing things on my own. We ran into each other at an event a few weeks ago, and things changed drastically. She confessed to still being in love with me and regretting everything she had done. I ignored her messages for 2 weeks, until I got a clear cry for reconciliation.

She says wants to get back together, and this time for a new relationship. We have hung out 4 times this week, and talked a lot. She says she feels more independent and comfortable being alone and learnt a lot from the time we had apart, but realizes how lucky we and knows we 'enhance each other lives', something she cannot bare to lose.

I agree with her, and I believe her, but I feel very apprehensive. I still love her and can see myself being with her for a long future, but I feel that I will have a hard time trusting her again. It felt like she decided to pull the pin on our relationship in a matter of days, and I really don't want it to happen again. At the same time as I am unsure, I also understand that the only way to reestablish trust in her is to give her a chance... I have explained all this to her, about how I am uncomfortable. She knows it will take time but wants to prove to me that the 4 months apart has changed her..

Any advice on how to trust someone again? Should we give this relationship another go?

Last edited by hqf53fat; 19th December 2017 at 4:00 AM..
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Old 19th December 2017, 11:21 AM   #2
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You know her, we don't. Only you can judge her level of sincerity.

Sounds to me like she had a bit of GIGS toward the single life but in the mere 60 days she was out there on her own she realized how hard, scary & lonely it can be & she just couldn't cut it. So she is running back to the safety of your arms. That little taste may have been enough to dissuade her from wanting her independence but I doubt it. I think the sentimentality of the season, & her desire to not be alone on NYE are driving this but I'm a cynic.

Tread cautiously but if she dumps you again, you can't give her a 3rd chance.
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Old 19th December 2017, 11:27 AM   #3
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It is indeed nice to read that she wants to get back together. You clearly both love each other, and there was some kind of confusion going on. People make mistakes when they want to break up, for sure.

Pulling out the wrong conclusions from time to time is normal... But yeah, you are the only one who knows her. We don't.

Be cautious, keep an eye open. And if she breaks up again, then be sure to quit permanently and go no contact until you have no more feelings for her.

Good luck!
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