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Broke NC, Called Ex

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

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Old 19th October 2017, 1:39 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 17
Broke NC, Called Ex

My ex and I broke up back at the end of August. We have been seeing each other and then she still wanted to be single after me sitting her down to talk about where our relationship was going, and trying to get some clarification on her end because I wanted to get back together. She thought she had been with me too soon after her last relationship of three years ended. It led to her coming into our relationship too quickly with too many expectations, which in turn drove me away and caused me to pull back. Both of these dynamics caused the relationship to erode.

I got upset last week after she was kind of nonchalant about meeting up with just caught up to me that we were still sleeping together but I wasn't her priority anymore. I didn't respond to her last text and ignored her sending me snapchats.

This lasted about a week...every day was worse than the last. I got so emotional that today I broke down and called her. She picked up and we talked for about 45 minutes about what she had been up to (she went on a road trip to visit friends). She sounded happy to hear from me. I told her I had been thinking about her and wanted to see if she wanted to meet up sometime.

She said two things...she saw a billboard of a movie and had thought of wanting to ask me to go, and she said she has some movie tickets. I said yeah I want to see a scary movie before Halloween...and so she asked if I would want to go and I said yes. She also mentioned a movie that is a classic favorite of hers and we joked about how I STILL hadn't seen she said to wait for her to watch it.

She also said she would "always make the time to see me" when I mentioned that we would talk soon and nail down plans for later in the week or weekend (I am trying to not pressure her or come off as needy...I wanted to test the water to see if she would want to see me again, plus I know she's just getting back from a tiring trip and will probably want to rest tomorrow).

Yes, I was a little awkward on the phone attempting to indicate that I wanted to see her and then didn't nail down a date. I'm a little embarrassed about how awkward I was.

But from what she said it sounded like she wanted to see me and had been thinking about me.

Ugh I HATE this.

I'm just wondering if I should be a bit aloof and not needy. She is the one who is in control of the decision to get back together or not.

Going complete NC was annihilating me emotionally...
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Old 19th October 2017, 7:00 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 28,569
NC is a healing tool but it's not a one size fits all. Some people like you need to rip the band-aid off slowly. You do need to disconnect from her because she's not interested in a relationship with you. She's not a mean person & is trying to be civil when interacting with you but not to the level of reconciliation.

You need to do what's best for you. Understand full healing won't happen until you are emotionally done.
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Old 19th October 2017, 11:03 AM   #3
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Don't be the guy who has to have the girl get "mean" to get across the point that she is not interested in a relationship.
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Old 19th October 2017, 11:51 AM   #4
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 20
Youíre doomed, son. At this point she is eager to meet a new guy and have sex with him and youíre nothing to her anymore. I know these are not the words you wanted to hear but thatís the truth. She acts like my ex-gf of 5 years and I became nothing to her. Similar situations really. Good luck.
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Old 30th October 2017, 6:49 PM   #5
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 22
sounds to me like your being a little girl and letting her dictate what happens and when.

if you want to see her then.. buy tickets to an event, give her a call, tell her you want to see her and take her out to the event, if shes intrested she will say yes ok if shes not she will make up a lame excuse.. and you have your complete answer if she wants you or not and you can move from there

just man up a little and dont overthink everything youre a man for a reason.. dont let a women decide what happens, they hate doing that and wll hate you for it..

so i think youve got a good chance just plan stuff out and be direct with her without getting emotional
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