What next?

[133]

So here's my situation...

 

I'm currently in college, I met a great girl about 6 months ago. Right away I knew she was interested, and I told her I wasn't really looking for anything due to what happened to me in the past but said I'd get to know her.

 

After about two months we started getting really close, and she initiated the "what are we talk." I left it as how I really cared about her, and have feelings, but after my last girlfriend (lasted over 2 years, ended over here leaving me for my best friend.) I wasn't looking to put a label on anything, we basically agreed to date without a label. (my first mistake, females need commitment.)

 

So time went on, we practically lived together, she spent every night with me when we were both in town (we waited over 2 months before sex, i'm old fashioned lol). We talked all day, everyday, and were together whenever there was free time. I started to fall hard for her, she was like no girl I had ever been with before! Her best friend even told me how she was head over heels for me, and never saw her this into a guy before. Supposedly she said that I "could be the one to her."

 

We kept falling hard, we were at the point when we were going to make it "official" (everyone considered us together,we did too). Then I found out that I needed to transfer colleges for my future career... This hit her hard. We had talks about how we were going to make it work, and decided to stay with what we were without a label. This was about a month and a half ago. It was tough, but we figured we'd make it work, we knew it would be tough both being college athletes in different seasons, contrasting work schedules in the summer, and being 3-4 hours away from each other, but we thought it could happen.

 

Then about 2 weeks ago one night she told me she was going to stop coming over... I asked why and she went on how she was scared of me leaving how bad the future looked for us. She said she didn't want to get any closer to me to risk hurting herself even more when I leave. Which I agree I future looked like it was almost guaranteed to not go anywhere, but if it was meant to be it would have worked out I thought. And once she found out I had to transfer she started telling herself to loose feelings.

 

Right away I jumped to conclusions, thinking there was a new guy, an ex, anything... I found there to be nothing, she genuinely was afraid. I eventually found out that her first love/real boyfriend in younger years was lost too distance. So she wanted to avoid those types of situations at all costs. I tried to tell her why it would work and she agreed but said she just wasn't ready for that sort of relationship. Which I respect and understand...

 

But here I am now, she still talks to me all day, everyday... We have made tentative plans to see each other come summer, and she kissed me a couple times since our "talk". We still hangout, have a great time together and everything else. We talk about us, and she tells me that she still cares about me and wants to keep me in her life, but needs time alone right now she has realized. Needs to find herself to think about what she wants with her life. Shes 20 and i'm 22 so were both young yet.

 

How do I progress with this situation???

I defiantly would do everything I could to make a relationship continue and happen with this girl, but I don't know if I'm just waiting time hung up on a track to nowhere... Any help would be great! Thanks

[d0nnivain]

Since you were fine dating without labels try doing an LDR without labeling it as such. If you continue to act like a couple, you will still be a couple. She needs reassurance but that can't come until your actions once on your new campus match your words of professed loyalty.

[NTV]

you can cut it off and be single. That's why you have no labels right? So that it won't hurt as bad if either of you call it quits?

[133]

Welp... 2 weeks after she asked for the break, she slept with my teammate and used to be friend... Just like the last girl

[133]

now this is pain... the girl who showed me that I could trust girls with my heart did the same thing as the last one, and this time hurts so much more.

[133]

Hello,

I had a post on another thread. But now anyway more information came through and I'm a mess...

 

I met a wonderful girl around 7 months ago at college. Soon after we began talking and I started to fall for her, at this time I told her that I wanted to stop before we got too close because I wasn't ready to commit to another girl after my ex of two years broke up with me, and two weeks later she was with my best friend. This girl promised me that she would be the one to show me that not everyone will hurt me like that. She seemed believable, and all of my friends told me they thought this girl was the genuine person she seemed to be and someone I could trust...

 

Soon we were together, fast forward to know, about 6 months later. Through this time she basically lived with me, we were an amazing pair. I fell for her hard, and according to her best friend she never saw her this head over heels for anyone. We were close. One day one of my friends/teammates I have known for 4 years starts talking to her. At first he came to ask her about one of her friends, then soon after he just tried being "friendly" to her. She let me read the messages, and made it clear she was with me. He knew too. After about a week of being a nice guy to her, she was out at a party with her friends, I was at work. She became very intoxicated and had a hard time texting, I had never seen her like this before... So after work I decided I should go check on her. There at the party I walk outside to my friend and her kissing out on the deck. He was fairly sober yet, but "claimed" he didn't know what he was doing. After this I was ready to cut ties with her, but she begged me to stay with her and promised it'd never happen again, it was just a dumb drunk mistake. I made mistakes in past relationships so I let it slide....

 

Fast forward one more month, we were back to the way things used to be and I found out I had to transfer colleges due to an unfortunate circumstance. Shortly after, she asked if we could end things because she wasn't ready for the distance, but wanted to keep me in her life. She also admitted that after the time I caught her with my "so called friend" things were different, which I agreed too. I lost some trust in her when I'd see guys talking to her and when she'd be out with her friends. We kept talking, hanging out, and doing everything except basically sex, and sleeping together every night, as we did for 6.5 months (wasn't having sex daily either, basically just living together). So after this happened I decided to make amends with my friend. I texted him, told him sorry for getting as mad as I did with him, but told him that he really hurt me, but I can forgive him and that I wanted to end on a good note before I left. The next day, he starts talking to this girl....

 

When we kept hanging out I noticed he messaged her and I asked what it was about, she said it was nothing, and promised me that he was nothing. And that genuinely she still cared about me, didn't want any other guy, and said she new he was known as being a "dirty" guy so she wanted nothing to do with him. She just had to end things with me, and move on so she didn't get too hurt with the distance ruining us, and that she needed to be alone to "find herself" again. Come to find out two days later when I was out of town, she slept with him...

 

 

Now here I am hurt as hell. She was the girl who built me to show me that I can trust a relationship only to do the same thing to me. I lost an amazing relationship, and a friendship. Atleast now I know neither of them were true, but it still hurts like hell. Considering she said she thought about making me and her work... Now I just am trying to find a way to cope. Any advice? Thanks