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My fear of the second chance


thebear1490

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So long story short: My ex and I were together for 3 years. Extremely deep and intense.

 

BU in the first week of December out of an argument. I was the dumper and changed my mind a week later cause I cooled down. chased her for almost 1 1/2 months then started NC contact 34 days ago.

 

The way I ve been coping and processing all this is that I have been talking about it constantly leaning on my friends. I do want a second chance. A friend ours (which happens to be one of her best friends) went to visit my ex for four days. The friend told me that every time the topic of me or our breakup would come up. My ex would shut it down and not want to talk about it and get flustered by it. She's not talking to anyone about it.

 

I guess I am afraid is that my ex is not dealing with the breakup and is just bottling up her emotions for now because its too much to handle. Basically delaying it and Time will pass and I will be moved on and pass all this or just be in a higher place. Then all of sudden she'll reach out and will still be the same and not have matured from this or worked on herself and the tables will turn.

 

I do want a second chance but a second chance that will last.

Just felt like I need to get this off my chest

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Firstly, If you were the dumper and you tried getting her back after 1 week with no result then it points to the fact that she wants this breakup too.

If she wanted to keep the relationship alive she would have came back.

 

Go no contact, better yourself, move on and if she comes back youll be able to give her a better version of yourself

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SoThatHappened

Lemme get this straight:

 

- You dumped her

- Chased her for 6 weeks

- Got shot down for 6 weeks

- and you're worried about her not changing and just wanting you back automatically?

 

You may be in for a rude awakening. Prepare yourself for that and try to better yourself, by yourself.

 

Then, IF she comes back, at the very least you'll be a better you.

 

Don't get your hopes up, though.

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