Fernando2826 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) So my ex and I met up recently. I'm still really into her and probably came on a little too strong. Nonetheless, she seemed to be feeling nostalgic and we ended up having sex in her car. The next day she starts messaging me saying how confused she is, but imediately saying she doesn't want to resume a relationship (not that I had suggested it). Over the next few days we messaged a lot (her instigating for the most part) and the conversation began to turn sexual. A few nights after sleeping together, I suggested that we meet up again and she seemed relatively open to it saying "hit me with your ideas". Since she had already stated that she wasn't interested in getting back into a relationship, and the highly sexual nature of the chat, I basically suggested that we meet up that evening with a view to sleeping with one another. Don't get me wrong, nothing would have made me happier than to take her on a date, regardless of whether sex happened, but she had already stated that she wasn't interested in that. Following my suggestion, she responded with "I actually don't think it's a good idea. Besides, I'm already in bed (her parents house), and naked". I don't think this was meant in a suggestive way, but it seems weird that she seemed initially open to the idea of meeting up, only to (1 minute later) say that she had already turned in (it was about 12am in fairness). Worried that I had offended her or some such, I tried to steer the conversation away from the sexual, but she insisted upon essentially sexting, before stating how turned on she was by it all. So I assume she wasn't offended? Just wondering whether, had I said something along the lines of "how's about a walk on the beach?", things might have turned out differently? Or was she just playing with it all? I mean, I didn't want to have established that we weren't getting back together, then invite her out, making it seem entirely platonic or some such. FYI, she continued to message me for a few days afterwards, before eventually stopping and inviting the guy she had been on/off seeing prior to these events to stay with her. Edited February 17, 2016 by Fernando2826 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If you REALLY want her back, the best thing you could do is get her to go on a date - a proper date with dinner - and NOT make any romantic gestures and NOT have sex. She is really confused because the oxytocin which is created during the act of sex is releasing in her and causing her to bond with you, when she intellectually wants to split up. You need to give her the opportunity to see her as something other than cheap sex and a viable, interesting person for her to be impressed to want to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Just ask her directly. Is it sex your interested in or dating again and reconciling. Be upfront and honest where YOU stand. It will hurt you too to stay stuck on her and mess with your own head if she doesnt want you back you both need to stick to NC and heal. Friendship is not possible immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
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