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Forgiveness


mortensorchid

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On Sunday I got a text message from someone without a name assigned to it. It said "I want to see you". I said "Hi who's this?" He identified himself, I was blown away. He was my last serious bf from 4 years ago - Frankenstein thanks to his plethora of injuries, accidents, broken bones, surgeries, etc. - who is an Alpha Male aka Bad Boy. Long story short, after six months of drunken hell, he dumped me because I was too good for him and because I wasn't taking care of him. Barely five months later, he takes up with this other woman. She was a complete and utter psychotic, jealous, possessive, self centered, etc. like they all are. She alienated me, then all the other women around him (including his family members), and it went to all his other friends and acquaintance.

 

I asked via text if won't his gf cut his b***** off if she knew he was reaching out, and she would mutilate me if she knew I was reciprocating even in this small way. He said he no longer had a gf, I said I was sorry to hear that. He said he wanted to see me again and can he see me? I said before I agree to this my body is not going to be violated or killed, will it? He said no, he wanted to explain himself. I agreed. We met at a coffee shop nearby.

 

He said he was under the control of a psychotic shrew who cheated on him all the time. She went through his phone, emails, etc. He was not allowed to talk to other women for the smallest things, even his MOM. He asked me for my forgiveness for allowing this to happen, he was mending the fences with everyone and everything. I said my piece on it ...

 

I'm sorry this happened to him, truly. No one knows how bad it can be to be in an abusive relationship until they have been there themselves. I also understand the world is full of lonely people and life is complicated. He and I are no exception to this, and this is partially why he reached out and partially why I said yes to this meeting. I realized that I was one of a row of dominoes that fell down. What he did, however, was wrong and that will always be there. He is, like I said, a Bad Boy. And I have been with enough in the past, Bad or Not, who did exactly what he did - try to make it work with trash and then get taken advantage of.

 

I told him finally, we're good. I forgave him.

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On Sunday I got a text message from someone without a name assigned to it. It said "I want to see you". I said "Hi who's this?" He identified himself, I was blown away. He was my last serious bf from 4 years ago - Frankenstein thanks to his plethora of injuries, accidents, broken bones, surgeries, etc. - who is an Alpha Male aka Bad Boy. Long story short, after six months of drunken hell, he dumped me because I was too good for him and because I wasn't taking care of him. Barely five months later, he takes up with this other woman. She was a complete and utter psychotic, jealous, possessive, self centered, etc. like they all are. She alienated me, then all the other women around him (including his family members), and it went to all his other friends and acquaintance.

 

I asked via text if won't his gf cut his b***** off if she knew he was reaching out, and she would mutilate me if she knew I was reciprocating even in this small way. He said he no longer had a gf, I said I was sorry to hear that. He said he wanted to see me again and can he see me? I said before I agree to this my body is not going to be violated or killed, will it? He said no, he wanted to explain himself. I agreed. We met at a coffee shop nearby.

 

He said he was under the control of a psychotic shrew who cheated on him all the time. She went through his phone, emails, etc. He was not allowed to talk to other women for the smallest things, even his MOM. He asked me for my forgiveness for allowing this to happen, he was mending the fences with everyone and everything. I said my piece on it ...

 

I'm sorry this happened to him, truly. No one knows how bad it can be to be in an abusive relationship until they have been there themselves. I also understand the world is full of lonely people and life is complicated. He and I are no exception to this, and this is partially why he reached out and partially why I said yes to this meeting. I realized that I was one of a row of dominoes that fell down. What he did, however, was wrong and that will always be there. He is, like I said, a Bad Boy. And I have been with enough in the past, Bad or Not, who did exactly what he did - try to make it work with trash and then get taken advantage of.

 

I told him finally, we're good. I forgave him.

 

Playing devil's advocate, because, why not,

Have you tried giving it a second thought?

We often like to say people deserve second chances, that people can change,

Yet when the opportunity arrives, we make sure no chance is arranged.

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You don't have to trust him or be with him but forgiveness is so you can move on. I have forgiven the people who have wronged me even if I want nothing to with them. It is for me so I am not consumed by anger and bitterness.

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He's an Alpha Male aka Bad Boy. I have been with them in the past, name one woman who hasn't. He's more fun than a barrel of monkeys, he's a tornado in the sack, but I'm a grown up now. I will not be one of the Whitney Houstons of the world. It's going to get real old, real fast when he's throwing chairs through windows, getting into fist fights and calling for bail money.

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