ttgg88 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 (edited) So me and my girlfriend have been together since 6/6/12. First year we had so much fun. I would surprise her and do all the little nice things she wanted. Then I cheated...at my job with a girl. This hurt her very bad. Especially since we both cheated previous relationships with others for different reasons. So she knows how it feels. I only had intercourse with her once. I would stop talking to and then she would pop back up....through text and showing up. She has caught me talking to her more times in addition to the one. Then it's Times I got on dating sites just to be curious. So she felt I was hiding stuff. I was a dick to her. Not like abusive but just draining her. And I LOVE HER TO DEATH. Recently we have been arguing about little stuff...so I haven't done anything since and she just wants the guy she fell in love with. I didn't do all I could to provide her closure on the situation. Most recently she had been so busy doing family stuff. I really wanted to see her. Mind you when I got caught cheating I wanted to leave and she begged me to stay. And I never WANTed to leave I only thought I did. So I got fed up with me not being able to just chill with her for a hour. It's always something. She brought me food as she told me she wouldn't be able to see me when I wanted. So got I got mad. She left saying I wasn't grateful. So I text her out of anger and said I think we should up. Usually every other time we work it out. But not this time. And I didn't mean it. Now she won't take me back. She wants to be friends and she says she isn't promising anything in the future. She still text me everyday. I really had an eye opening moment when she left. I need help getting her back please helpppp. It's a lot of thing I could have done differently. So I took flowers to her job the other day. And she basically was mad and irritated. Here is what she said. "In order for me to do this you've really got to give me room. What you're doing is so nice but I've got a lot of anger towards you that I have to let go of and you doing these things now that we're not together is driving me crazy more than making me want to be with you because of the simple fact that you absolutely refused to do these things when we were together." I was very I love her daughter as my own. And she wants us back together badly. The other day she said this. "Poor thing .. she wants us back together bad" then moved on to say. "Idk what to say I don't want to promise anything I can't keep" I know she still love me I know it. What do I do. Is she done? She still wears the diamond ring I gave her...and makes it her point to show me. I've been out with her twice...to dinner...with friends..she says she's scared...and hurt...and she needs to know why she is hurting...because she is in love...because she misses me....because she enjoys my company. I told her that because she is scared that it's clouding her judgment. She says she doesn't wanna lead me on. Yet we hold hands in public. Kiss and sleep in together. I'm so confused Edited December 27, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for paragraphs.
phuqdithappened Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 I'm sorry dude. My prayers will be with you. I know exactly how u feel and am there right now......
Author ttgg88 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Posted December 27, 2014 Just so confusing bro. She's scared...she WANT space. But initiated contact. I don't get it. All I know is I want to marry her. And I know she only thinks Ima hurt her again.
Ducktape Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 And I LOVE HER TO DEATH. Yeah... You don't. You can lie to yourself, but we're having none of it. This is just another case of wanting what you can't have. She's too good for you. As soon as she comes back (I hope she doesn't) you'll start taking her for granted again and treating her like crap. You're just the kind of man who "needs" someone in his life. For attention, for co-dependency, self-esteem. I don't know. Work on yourself and let her find someone who will love her like she deserves. 4
Author ttgg88 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Posted December 27, 2014 Thanks for whatever that was. I made mistakes and have learned from them. People can have moments of awakening and that's exactly what I had. I don't need anything or anyone. I want her in my future. AnAnd I won't give up. She fought for me so you mean to tell me I can't fight for her? NAHHHH the love I her in a way that can be explained. Pass and beyond this life. O and good luck to you as well
dumbass2 Posted December 27, 2014 Posted December 27, 2014 If you love her, why don't you give her the space she is asking for? You seem to want her now because you can't have her. If you did love her, you would give her some time. She has told you that and you wont listen. You are going to push her further away by being over aggressive when she is confused and doesn't want it. Can't you see it is not helping things by getting together at this point? It is only clouding things, not helping.
Author ttgg88 Posted December 27, 2014 Author Posted December 27, 2014 I get that..I want to give her every thing she ask for. So when she ask to chill with me...holding my hand...we even took a shower together..that was her idea...that was last night. What do I do?
coolheadal Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 She's wearing the ring you gave her, that's good sign. Again most of what was said on both ends sounds like you has to decide what to do. But don't go to her job with flowers in person. Back off for now and stop thinking about this. Your lucky she wanted you back after you cheated. But now something is wondering in her mind. We all can say many things of what you should do or not do but this girl has the last say in this matter.
Zahara Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) Thanks for whatever that was. I made mistakes and have learned from them. People can have moments of awakening and that's exactly what I had. I don't need anything or anyone. I want her in my future. AnAnd I won't give up. She fought for me so you mean to tell me I can't fight for her? NAHHHH the love I her in a way that can be explained. Pass and beyond this life. O and good luck to you as well I think the only awakening you had is when you realized you aren't in control of her anymore. The fact that you aren't getting what you want when you want is the only reason why she suddenly is your moon and stars. It's so evident in your posts. You were doing the dirty for awhile and you took it for granted because she was always tolerant of it, now that she's calling the shots, you can't stand it. One that turns a blind eye when someone cheats and consistently treats them badly isn't fighting for a relationship because of love but because they're in some form co-dependent. Both of you are dysfunctional. Love that is as deep as "pass and beyond this life" doesn't hurt, lie and cheat. It's not controlling. It isn't entitled. Actions, words are very easy. I have a strong feeling the moment she gives in, you'll go back to your ways. And stating you love her daughter as your own, hopefully the lesson learned -- you would never want a man treating her the way you treated your ex. Time to grow up. Edited December 28, 2014 by Zahara 3
Author ttgg88 Posted January 5, 2015 Author Posted January 5, 2015 She wants to work on things. So I can promise you three things. I will never let her down again. I will love you more and harder than ever. I will be the guy she fell in love with every day. I don't need her I want her. I feel that sometimes things happen in life to make you that much stronger. This Will and has opened me up. She is my queen and her daughter my princess. I will do all in my power to make sure she is happy and I am as well. Thanks for all the help.
Author ttgg88 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 So I wanted to just call it off to help me from hurting more than i already do. She txt me and said we could work on things. She loves me so much and I know this because of the time we spend and txt she send. Calling me her king and wishing I could hold her. Just last night she said she seen the change in me and that she was gaining confidence in me again. Then today she said she was confused about all of this. I need help. Read my original post for details. I obviously love her and she loves me but she is more scared than anything. What can I do. I give her space and support.
Ducktape Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 I don't know what advice there is to give. There's no secret recipe to love. It's all about trust and honesty. You clearly showed her that you weren't all about that. Of course she will have doubts, be confused, scared. You're not trustworthy. Either you give her time, space, and show her a completely new you and ready to wait all the time in the world for her. or you give up. I don't want to be mean, again... But to me she's just having difficulties to let go. It will never go back to how it was before and she knows it. I would pack my bag, apologize to her and set her free if I were you. If you love her, that's what you will do. You are toxic to her.
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