Should I have the Restraining Order Dismissed

[sm2281]

Here I am again.

 

I wa married for 10 years before this. I grew up with my exhusband in a small town and we married during college. He was the love of my life. Our marriage ended in 2011 and at that time he became jealous and nasty because i was moving on and he wasn't.

 

I ended up moving out of state and obtaining a permanent restraining order.

 

Alot of things happened. But he still ended up with custody of my daaughter. I have joint legally, but I just want to move on. But I'd like to share custody of my daughter.

 

Our divorce I believe was dismissed I believe and I am not in any further danger.

 

I want to see my daughter but he keeps derdging up the past. I think if I did that we might be able to work out viable visitation as we live in different states now. He has become disabled and cant even operate a car anymore.

 

Physical I am not worried about, but I do want to see my daughter.

 

What do you all think?

 

Work it out now that there is not longer a threat? Or leave it and fight in the courts? It would save time and money if we could work it out now and just trade the children as possible.

[No Limit]

Excuse my curiousity, but how could a guy you had to file a restraining order against ever get custody of your daughter?

[stillafool]

Why does he have custody of your daughter and not you?

[sm2281]

He had a temporary order written up in the custody just after we seperated He didn't become abusive or stalk me until after we seperated...

 

And at the time I had no means of fighting back because he kept everything. The house. The cars. I was flat broke and he filed so quickly that I had no way of saving for an attorney.

 

I have done alot of research on what went wrong with our marriage and I believe is a psychopath and he isnn't raising her.

 

It was proven even more so over the last couple of days He fears for his life because his health is deteriorating, and he still won't turn her over to me,

 

I have every right to see her, and the only thing that prevents me from doing so is that fact that I have this RO and I am restrained from going out to look for him as well And because he has my daughter...well you see the contradiction there.

 

When we went to court for the RO the judge didnt want to go over custody becaue of the previous order....and I am still just now recovering financially from this. It's been 2 years and I had to move 7 times.....one out of state. And I also have a special needs son (which I have) that I have to support

 

So, saving the thousands of dollars for attys on a single parent salary, has been difficult. I am hoping that by the end of next year I will have the money I have called CPS, asked them to step in. They wont. I have called the cops. The cops wont take him to jail. I have done everything I possiblyfight for it in can. I just have to fight for it in court and work it out. And I can also bet on having to fight his mother for grandparents rights too. So I've been working on a retainer.

 

The thing with this is, it's been 3 days of contact. He wants me to remove the RO. But, that being said he wont discuss anythign about the children. I have been open and honest and he uses my current relationship as means of saying I can't see my daughter bc my partner isn't trustworthy enough and wants to dredge up the past. I have told him unless he can move on from that and work towards the children, then we shouldn't talk because I am not going to do that with him I think it's all a ruse either to trap me into something or to build his ego, or something. Becuae the whole thing has ticked me off and I just want to see my daughter.

 

I told him not to call until he was ready to discuss the children.

[No Limit]

Indeed, court's going to be the only way past his idiocy. Hope it'll be fast over for you though.