Do I have a second chance?

[jalfy]

Summary of my BU

 

- Broke up in Dec because I didn't appreciate his love and he was done giving his all. He felt broken, empty, hurt and couldn't give anymore. I didn't treat him very well, but I was in the process of changing when he decided he couldn't do it.

- Days after, he got into an argument with his close friend from church that had blown out of proportion. I don't know what happened, but it costed him his career in church. He resents her now because he feels that he was a really good friend to her but she turned her back on him and involved a whole lot of people.

- Throughout the 3 months after our BU, I constantly bugged him to give our relationship another shot. Initially, he agreed to it, but later on decided against it because he didn't think things will work out, and he was still hurting from what I did to him, as well as what happened in church. Though we did try to work things out on and off, he did mentioned that in the later few weeks, he did so only because he felt cornered.

 

In the final two conversations we had, things really went downhill. He went hysterical during the second last conversation with him crying and all because I took his words out of context and he was done explaining to me over and over again. The conversation was about me wanting to work things out, but he didn't think there's a high possibility that it would, because he couldn't trust me. He said he was still broken and didn't know when he'll healed, and that if I wanted to try again, I could, but after he has healed.

 

In our last conversation recently, I texted him recently wanting to make amends and this was what he told me:

 

- He didn't want me to make amends because it will tear him up inside and he can't heal.

- His fear towards me took root after the previous conversation.

- He gets stressed whenever a thought or memory about me pops up in his minds and have to find ways to distract himself.

- He hyperventilated when he thought he saw a girl who looked like me

- He had nightmares about me and can't sleep well at night.

- He sees everyone as monsters especially that 'ex-good friend', but has other good friends whom he still trust and they are his safety net. However, he's afraid of people especially the girls that he's closer to (but still trusts them because they have proven to be neutral)

- He wants to heal because he feels insecure without his friends and is afraid of losing them. He feels like sh*t when he's not with them.

- He doesn't know if we will reconcile in future because he doesn't know when he'll heal.

- considering being single for the rest of his life

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the conversation he went bonkers saying that he's a loser and all and he went offline and later on, blocked me from all social media and communication. I can partially understand that he might be afraid of me after all that bugging and cornering. Even though I'm not the only factor that caused him to be in this state, I don't think that the things I did will cause him to suffer a breakdown till this extent. I sent him an email to say that I will let him go and will not contact him again, so that he can heal properly.

 

 

I miss him loads and though I know that I should move on, my heart is waiting for him to be healed. Do I have a chance for reconciliation?

[jalfy]

Can anybody help me?

[tlegend]

Can anybody help me?

 

Leave him alone and let him heal.

 

My 2 cents.

[learning_slowly]

Tlegend is correct. If you love him, what would you want him to do if it was the other way round?

[jalfy]

Thanks tlegend and learningslowly for the reply.

 

Yes I have not contacted him for two weeks and I plan to maintain NC so that he can heal properly. From the looks of it, are there any chances of reconciliation?

[flight E]

I think so and quite a gud chance at that because he must care abt you before you can affect him this way but u have to give him time and accept that it might not work out d way you want. For now give him space and time to work tru his emotions.