Will she want me back/miss me?

[ManIthurts]

Ok so, heres my story from my last two nights. I was with a girl for a year and half. Things were awesome in my opinion. We had some rough times in our relationship though. We broke up once for a day early on because she wasn't sure is she wanted me or another guy. I came back to her the next day wanting her back and wanting to work it out and eventually it was me she wanted too. We hung out all the time and after she graduated high school, we hung out at our houses mostly. We went out time to time and never really fought. I had a lot of fun with this girl, I loved her so much. We could share anything with each other. I really felt like she was my best friend, I told her she was and she said I was her best friend too. I did everything I could for this girl to make her happy. Sure, there was times I would get upset at her, but it was never so server to where I never wanted to see or hear from her again.

 

This girl has OCD and depression problems. She used to go to a therapist but stopped and stopped taking her medications. I thought everything was fine with us, but we had "almost break up" moments where she basically told me she doesn't know if she will ever be in love with me, but she does love me. She said I am an awesome guy, great boyfriend, I'd make a great husband one day and I really make her happy. She loves spending time with me but she told me when we aren't together she is sad. She says nothing really makes her happy when she is alone. She doesn't have any friends other than me because of drama in high school. When she isn't with me, she is usually at home sleeping or just watching something on Netflix or with her mom some where. This didn't bother me at all. I loved spending all my time with her (Not all, I hung out with friends too) but she was just a girl I would never want to let go. A few nights ago, we were talking again and she was telling me about how she feels like shes so sad in life right now. She feels like shes not passionate about anything, and doesn't know what she wants to do in life. I suggested we could go out together and look. She said she just wasnt happy. I asked if I made her happy and she said other than you (me) nothing makes her happy. I asked her if she felt like she'd be better off not in a relationship with me. She said she didn't know. I asked if she was still unsure about us and she said "I guess so" So I called her and I told her how I felt about her, how she makes me feel but after a year and 6 months and she is still unsure I had to end it. We talked for 2 hours on the phone and I told her something a long the lines of this.. "I really think you are unhappy because all you do is sit inside all day sleeping or watching TV. Being lazy makes a person depressed. I should know, it happened to me like 2 summers ago. I've been trying to get us out more and I've been trying to get us more active. I wanted you to come exercise with me because that will be something healthy for you and your mind to do. I feel like all this laziness is bringing you down in life. You couldn't even finish school last semester. I really am sorry you have to hear this from me but I really care about you and I want to help you anyway I can" It went on like that for little while. She told me its not that she doesn't appreciate my concern, but she has thought about all this before. I told her I know what I want, I want to be with her and make things work but if we break up or take a break (which is breaking up in my eyes) that I just can't see us being just friends. I would need no contact from her because it would hurt to much. She didn't want the phone call to end every time I said goodbye. She wouldn't say it back and even told me she didn't want to hang up. But eventually after more talking I told her "Im gonna go now, goodbye." and I she said " I know I said it earlier when we were talking but, I love you." I didn't say anything back and she said "Will you say it back to me?" or "Are you going to say it back" I can't remember.. and I just said "Im going to go now, i'm sorry. Bye." and then she said bye and we hung up. We didn't talk all day the next day until about 7 p.m. when I texted her hi and asked what she was doing. She said nothing and I asked to come over to talk for a little bit. She said okay, and when I got there, we went to her room and talked. It was supposed to be a 10 minute talk that turned into us just talking how we normally do when we hang out, we talked about our favorite tv show, random stuff, made each other laugh. We hugged and I kissed her and never even talked about what I wanted to originally talk about until about 2 hours later of me being there. I told her I love her, I don't want to be away from her, I love the time we spend together, how great she is, how great she makes me feel. She said all the same things back, she said she didn't want to lose me or never talk to me again. I told her I didn't want to be broken up.

 

Thats when she said she doesn't think thats a good idea to get back together. I started crying, I couldn't help it. I kept asking her why and what going on. She said she just need her time to focus on her. We kept talking and she said how she feels like she loves me but will never be in love with me and that one day, if we keep trying to date it will just turn into another one of these moments. I told her it wouldn't happen. We can work things out and make things better for us. We both don't have jobs, cars and she just got out of highschool while I am finishing my senior year, we are both 18. I honestly thing she feels the way she does because her laziness is making her depressed and her not being on medication is making everything else worse. After he telling me no again that she doesn't think dating right now will be the best thing to do, a "please" slipped out of my mouth, which I wish never did. I have never told her please and I didn't want to sound like I was begging. I have never been in love but I can say this girl made me feel something I have never felt before. I don't know if I was in love with her but I sure as hell wouldn't be surprised if I was. I want her and only her. Moving on for me would be the most difficult thing in the world. I really want her back but I don't know if she will come back. I don't mean to sound like a jerk but without me, she doesn't really have any friends to turn to, I don't want her to want me back for just that reason but will she ever miss me? Will she want to talk to me? Sorry for the long post.

[mangetout]

The only thing to do is stop speaking to her. Stop seeing her. Stop all of that . Either she will begin to miss you or she lets you go. It's the only way you are going to find out if she wants you back. Or not.

 

You can't force her to love you and you won't get your answer from LS.

 

I know it hurts because I am going through the same heartache. Many of us are on here.

 

Let her go

[realfriends]

Im sorry I didn't read it but I will still answer.

 

Will she miss you? Maybe, maybe not.

 

Should you care? No, you need to move on. You need to better yourself right now because thats all you can do.